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'Gifting other people' - Topic C lifetime goals etc etc.

amarao96 3 / 7 3  
Nov 28, 2013   #1
Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.
I need some honest reviews for this essay! thanks in advice!

I have a strong belief in fate, not coincidences. When I was seven years old, my parents gifted me a toy doctor's kit. It gave me a role to play that I took with such pride and responsibility. I used every opportunity I had to take care of my family members. Soon the pieces of my kit were becoming lost or broken. Without my key pieces that desire soon met its demise.

The beginning of my junior year had been completely driven by the urge to get good grades, join some teams, and take full advantage of my high school years. Joining Family, Career and Community Leaders of America was entirely a spur-of-the-moment act. I never planned to open up this past love I had to only be completely consumed by it. I walked into FCCLA completely blind, not knowing why my school had it (because I honestly never heard of it), or what could it possibly do for a high school student. Little did I know it would change my life forever. Becoming a part of this team reminded me of the joy I get from helping people. Initially a member, I later evolved into the Vice President. My group and I participated in Angel Tree, attending elementary schools to talk with kids, boxing supplies for families in need, and fundraising at our school. It felt so full and enriching to help other people, and I had completely lost sight of that. It was selfless, and I hadn't felt that way in a long time. FCCLA gave me an oppourtunity to also learn about my peers in doing so taught me many skills it takes, to work together to aid and provide for others, something that my track team or mentor groups could not possibly teach me.

FCCLA helped awaken that honest passion I have for helping others. In the future I plan to find a place in the health care field. I hope to impact people's lives, and aid in improving them to my fullest ability. It only took the involvement of a high school community service group to help find the key pieces to my doctor's kit.
selmasanchez 2 / 17 2  
Nov 29, 2013   #2
It is all great, I have yet to start mine on this topic I feel like it was the hardest! I think at the end you should say how it felt the first time you helped someone in that organization in full details :) What college is it for?
OP amarao96 3 / 7 3  
Nov 30, 2013   #3
I honestly just picked something out of the blue. Fccla was def. something that took me by surprise. I would chose any topic from an activity you do at home that has helped you or anything in the past or now that you participate in that has influenced you on your lifetime goal. It was hard in the beginning but then I just realized it doesn't have to be that hard I'm only a high school student. Thanks for you feed back ill make me changes soon and post again !
Arinadeer 2 / 2  
Dec 1, 2013   #4
I am not professional in writing but i think you should use some introductory words like "In my opinion", "For example", "In conclusion" and etc) It can make your essay more interesting and deep! But it is only my opinion!

Good luck!)
Ro4 9 / 21  
Dec 4, 2013   #5
because I had honestly never heard of it

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