Please be harsh when grading this essay because I want to get into a good school.
Also please compare this to my previous essay on the same topic, My grandma, my rock.
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"Welcome to summoner's rift!" The game welcomes me as I relax in front of the computer to connect with people from all around the world through one simple online game. Initially, my parents disapproved of my extracurricular activity. They felt that gaming was not part of their plan for me.
Since I was a young child, my parents have prepped me for a future that they were not fortunate enough to have. They wanted me to follow their vision of success: a doctor, a lawyer, or a pharmacist. In elementary school, my mother would drill multiplication tables into my head as she walked me to school. She enrolled me in Chinese school classes where I sat in a classroom and listened to the teacher talk for three hours. I now realize that this was the way my parents showed their love for me, by wishing for my success. However, as I grew, so did my realization that I didn't want to become a doctor or a lawyer.
By the time I entered high school, I was so tightly wound with the pressure to do well in school that one of the ways I found stress relief was through League of Legends. League of Legends is an online strategy game where teams competed against each other to reach the enemy base. I was enraptured by the technology that the other players didn't see. I wondered how the simple computer language could code for a game so complex. The most amazing part of the game was how people from all around the globe could play together. That was when I realized that I wanted to know more about programming and how to create software that connected people in such a way. I became aware that I wanted to major in Computer Science.
I was reluctant to tell my parents about my discovery. I was worried that my Western ideas would clash with their Chinese philosophies. To my surprise, they were pleased to see that I had finally found something that I was so interested in. They had researched about computer fields and the opportunities it could lead to. My parents used technology to research about new ideas. I was even more inspired to go into the field of Computer Science to create technology that international people could use to connect with each other and learn about different ideas. My parents disciplined me to work hard, and they have taught me to use all my knowledge to help me in the future. My parents truly cared about my happiness more than any amount of money could compete with. I plan to continue to work towards my dream until the announcer declares that the game has ended with victory.
- does it sound wordy?
- does it seem like I'm bitter towards my parents? I'm not. I swear.
Thank you for your time.
Also please compare this to my previous essay on the same topic, My grandma, my rock.
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"Welcome to summoner's rift!" The game welcomes me as I relax in front of the computer to connect with people from all around the world through one simple online game. Initially, my parents disapproved of my extracurricular activity. They felt that gaming was not part of their plan for me.
Since I was a young child, my parents have prepped me for a future that they were not fortunate enough to have. They wanted me to follow their vision of success: a doctor, a lawyer, or a pharmacist. In elementary school, my mother would drill multiplication tables into my head as she walked me to school. She enrolled me in Chinese school classes where I sat in a classroom and listened to the teacher talk for three hours. I now realize that this was the way my parents showed their love for me, by wishing for my success. However, as I grew, so did my realization that I didn't want to become a doctor or a lawyer.
By the time I entered high school, I was so tightly wound with the pressure to do well in school that one of the ways I found stress relief was through League of Legends. League of Legends is an online strategy game where teams competed against each other to reach the enemy base. I was enraptured by the technology that the other players didn't see. I wondered how the simple computer language could code for a game so complex. The most amazing part of the game was how people from all around the globe could play together. That was when I realized that I wanted to know more about programming and how to create software that connected people in such a way. I became aware that I wanted to major in Computer Science.
I was reluctant to tell my parents about my discovery. I was worried that my Western ideas would clash with their Chinese philosophies. To my surprise, they were pleased to see that I had finally found something that I was so interested in. They had researched about computer fields and the opportunities it could lead to. My parents used technology to research about new ideas. I was even more inspired to go into the field of Computer Science to create technology that international people could use to connect with each other and learn about different ideas. My parents disciplined me to work hard, and they have taught me to use all my knowledge to help me in the future. My parents truly cared about my happiness more than any amount of money could compete with. I plan to continue to work towards my dream until the announcer declares that the game has ended with victory.
- does it sound wordy?
- does it seem like I'm bitter towards my parents? I'm not. I swear.
Thank you for your time.