Extracurricula essay for common app(within 1000 characters)
1.half-year taekwondo experience
I'm now an upbeat and tough girl, a far cry from the shy, weedy girl on my first taekwondo day. And I had never expected that just in half a year, I came away with fresh courage and confidence from the dojang. "Shout aloud with your every move. That's the rule. Show me your strength combined with spirit!" My coach yelled at me. "CIE..." I showed him my open-handed strikes with a tiny shout, full of a hot embarrassment. "Louder! Louder! Hit me on my handboard! Come on!!" I took a deep breath and roar from within my chest and striked on the board. "CIE!!!" It was my very first step out of my comfort zone in class and to my surprise, I felt good to let go of my fear and inconfidence like this. My mind and body are one and my tension, anxiety and stress no longer get trapped inside. "Ground yourself. Feel your power within and your root beneath. Feel the energy pervading through your body." I then bared my feet as said by my coach and started my outdoor running warm-up. I realized when I am grounded, energy flows more easily from head down to feet and back up again. Shouting aloud and walking barefoot, these simple attempts drew me into the faith which I inherently possessed, but had not yet discovered or claimed. From then on, I began to feel my own power better through my every practice of blocks, kicks, take-downs and sweeps.I feel energized, ready to take on the challenges the world has to offer, step out of my comfort zones and embrace new things. Currently, I pause my taekwondo class due to the increasingly intense workload at school, but I know I'm going to continue practice. My passion is still there, and it shall never end. My taekwondo class is over, but my new life has just begun.
2.Be a Chinese dulcimer player for 10 years
Out of my bamboo hammers flow streams of vivid scenes. While playing The Storm, it's like I'm in real whooshing tempest; the capricious beginning magnifies to be such full and fast fortissimo that I can feel the energy pulsing through my body in waves. While playing Spring Arrives at the Qing River, pressing the strings to produce vibratos or gliding from one note to another to make portamentos, I picture the star shedding her sparkler dims on the river and myself wandering along the bank, listening to the gurgling water. I've been loyal and constant in my love for Yangqin (Chinese dulcimer) for 10 years. I never regard Yangqin as a dead piece of wood but find myself so empathic and connected with it. I was also proud to be the chief Yangqin at school Chinese orchestra since Grade2, where us 70 kids could be heard as a whole, with various performances and contests being honed to perfection over countless practices and rehearsals. Hearing our ensembles echo off the hall was a point where I first realize the true power of teamwork. Being called the soul of Chinese folk music, Yangqin plays indispensable role in orchestra, highlighting its brightness, meanwhile in perfect harmony with the rest of instruments. Though orchestra isn't available in my high school, Yangqin remains a life hobby. It teaches me to stick to my passion and bond with my community while lead my own bright and unique timbre in life's ensembles, and that I will do through college, and life in general.
3. Run the school Model United Nations Club
Model United Nations has been a large part of my life. I fell in love with it since my first conference; I won my first Best Delegate at Fudan University Model United Nations Conference, one of the highest-standard one in China; I was invited to be Chair and Academic Director of official conferences in Beijing...Along the journey, I consider my experience running the school MUN association, BJ80MUN(stands for Beijing No.80 High School MUN), the most impressive. Our core team of 6people, which given the name CORE SIX, create our association's logo and motto"You've got the world in your eyes", recruited 106 members, held the very first conference on campus which attracted over a hundred delegates, designed mini conference at our school's faculty meeting to show the teachers what MUN is about.We even publicize international issues at school by original posters or lectures regularly, and teach elective courses of MUN at school, which are welcomed and loved by the students. Feeling the hottest when at the core, us CORE SIX have become close-knit. As experienced MUNers ourselves, we've headed to a new role, club runner. We reach out to our school, seeding and sharing inspiration, passion, and civil awareness. Before our took over the association from the elder students, our BJ80MUN was just like an infant whose eyes can hardly open. But now it is better developed by us, more like a sturdy and vigorous teenager, who can have his own voice among various MUN associations in Beijing and China. Last month, when University Guide interviewed our team and photographed us for its magazine cover, I recalled an old dairy of mine, "I will carry on the responsibility. I will grow as our BJ80MUN grows. I will be a drop of hot blood of BJ80MUN, fight for its advancement, and imprint the best of me here." As a 2-year core team member, it really reminded me of how far we've been through. You know, "MUN" is pronounced like "dream" in Chinese, and our school MUN association is just like a fine dream we have built by 2-year devotion. Now again, it's time to pass it to the next core team. The beat goes on.
Please read them and any comments are appreciated!!
1.They are a bit too long. Need advice to cut down words.
2.Which one is the best fit for admission EC essay? How do I improve it?
An edited version! (2nd one) Please comment and help improve!
Out of my bamboo hammers flow streams of vivid scenes. While playing The Storm, it's like I'm in real whooshing tempest; the capricious beginning magnifies to be such full and fast fortissimo that I can feel the energy pulsing through my body in waves. While playing Spring Arrives at the Qing River, pressing the strings to produce vibratos, I picture the star shedding her sparkler dims on the river and myself wandering along the bank, listening to the gurgling water. I've been loyal and constant in my love for Yangqin (Chinese dulcimer) for 10 years. I never regard Yangqin as a dead piece of wood but find myself so empathic and connected with it. It's a source of comfort and outlet where I could be express myself. I was also proud to be the chief Yangqin at school Chinese orchestra since Grade2, where us 70 kids could be heard as a whole, with various performances and contests being honed to perfection over countless practices and rehearsals. Hearing our ensembles echo off the hall was a point where I first realize the true power of teamwork, conjuring up the sense of belonging. Being called the soul of Chinese folk music, Yangqin plays indispensable role in orchestra, standing out by its bright timbre, meanwhile in perfect harmony with the rest of instruments. Though orchestra isn't available in my high school, Yangqin remains a life hobby. It teaches me to stick to my passion and bond with my community while lead my own bright and unique timbre in life's ensembles, and that I will do through college, and life in general.
Sorry to be late ;(
Thank you for reading mine
I also think that Yangquin(揚琴?) is the best topic!!
I'm not good at English, so I cannot advise much about the language...
So I'll point out as far as I noticed (But beware that it might not be right, if you feel I'm saying a wrong thing, just don't take it)
While playing The Storm, it'sIfeel like I'mbeing in a real whooshing tempest
<-the subject must be constant
I wasam also proud to be the chief Yangqin at school Chinese orchestra since Grade2, where us (maybe you mean 'whereas'?) 70 kids could be heard as a whole, with various performances and contests being honed to perfection over countless practices and rehearsals.
<-this sentence seems to be a bit too long. so you need to divide it into two sentences or focus on what you really want to convey
Yangqin remains ato be my life hobby
I bet this topic works!!
Personally I would be excited if I found that my roommate was Chinese who play Yangquin
I love traditional Chinese culture
And in fact admission officers are looking for diversity
Good luck ;)
