It is very informal but I think it captures my voice the best. Harsh criticism is welcome
Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Dear future roommate,
I feel like it's only right that I caution you of my strangeness now before you get bombarded by it the first you meet me. At first glance, I will be the quiet girl who smiles and giggles at everything but doesn't utter a single word. After a while, I will be the girl who intervenes once in a while to agree, saying, "I know right!" Get to know me for couple more days and I will be the girl who cracks jokes on herself just to get the other person laughing. But stick with me long enough, I will be the girl who brings a smile to your face on your bluest day and catches you when you get off balance. In a nutshell, I'm the perfect example of the cliche "don't judge a book by its cover". I'm honest but not blunt. I only speak the truth or just be quiet. While I enjoy listening to music, I would rather act to it or dance it out. It helps me escape reality and find that temporary bliss. Dancing to those Bollywood songs gives me a rush of euphoria so be ready to jam out at the most random times! I study, not for tests, but for my own education. If I want to know how cell respiration works, I'll learn it. I'm quiet but not anti-social. Being quiet reduces the chances of drama but once in a while, I need those random chats. I'm different but not bizarre. Crime shows are my favorite but at the same time, eradication of all crime is my hope. I love nature but also my technology. I would rather play sports outside than video games inside but a power blackout is enough to give me a panic attack. I'm stubborn to my opinions yet flexible to everyone else's so don't mistake me for zealot. The only favor I'm asking of you is to stick with me until my shell breaks open. If you are smiling at the end of this letter, I know we will be great friends! Can't wait to meet you!
-*name*
can someone please give any type of feedback?
Dear future roommate,
I feel like it's only right that I caution you of my strangeness now before you get bombarded by it the first time you meet me. At first glance, I will be the quiet girl who smiles and giggles at everything but doesn't utter a single word. After a while, I will be the girl who intervenes once in a while to agree, saying, "I know right!" Get to know me for couple more days and I will be the girl who cracks jokes on herself just to get the other person laughing. But if you stick with me long enough, I will be the girl who brings a smile to your face on your bluest day and catches you when you get off balance. In a nutshell, I'm the perfect example of the cliche "don't judge a book by its cover". I'm honest but not blunt. I only speak the truth or just be quiet. (this sounds a bit awkward ) While I enjoy listening to music, I would rather act to it or dance it out. It helps me escape reality and find that temporary bliss. Dancing to those Bollywood songs gives me a rush of euphoria so be ready to jam out at the most random times! I study, not for tests, but for my own education. If I want to know how cell respiration works, I'll learn it. I'm quiet but not anti-social. Being quiet reduces the chances of drama but once in a while, I need those random chats. I'm different but not bizarre. Crime shows are my favorite but at the same time, eradication of all crime is my hope (I don't think hope is the word your looking for. Maybe desire? ). I love nature but also my technology. I would rather play sports outside than video games inside but a power blackout is enough to give me a panic attack. I'm stubborn to my opinions yet flexible to everyone else's so don't mistake me for zealot. The only favor I'm asking of you is to stick with me until my shell breaks open. If you are smiling at the end of this letter, I know we will be great friends! Can't wait to meet you!
-*name*
I like it. I believe it embodies your interests well. I just made a few minor changes.
Good luck to you!! :)
I really like how you opened with the explanation of you breaking your shell
I agree the 'i speak the truth or just be quiet' part is a bit awkward.
Great essay, I felt like I could almost hear you. But I agree with the changes Kreator95 has made.
Best of luck!
thank you for your feedback! I'll work on those changes
