I am writing UW admission essay and I need your help. Thanks for all your help about anything. Welcome all critique or any suggestions.
Topic:
* Tell us about your college career to date, describing your performance, educational path and choices.
* Explain any situations that may have had a significant positive or negative impact on your academic progress and or curricular choices. If you transferred multiple times, had a significant break in your education, or changed career paths, explain.
* What are the specific reasons you wish to leave your most recent college/university and/or program of study
* Tell us about your intended major and career aspirations.
* Are you prepared to enter your intended major at this time? If not, describe your plans for preparing for the major. What led you to choose this major? If you are still undecided, why? What type of career are you most likely to pursue after finishing your education?
* How will the UW help you attain your academic, career, and/or personal goals?
Here is my essay:
I grew up in small hometown in Vietnam and had witnessed images of many people being hurt and dying because of not having enough medicines to cure their illness. Plus, I had seen many charity organizations come to my village to deliver medicines for poor families. Those images always captured in my mind and have driven me to become a pharmacist with passion in science, especially biology. Being a pharmacist is a great contribution for the society and it also satisfies heart, which never resist helping people, and my love in biology. Biology is of my natural choice of major and I am interested in it more than anything else. When I was about six years old, my father was diagnosed that he had asthma which probably from my great-grandfather. I wondered at that time that why I didn't inherit asthma from my father? As a result, such a question drove me to passion of biology. I found out there is no limit information in biology and the topic of biology is applicable in everyday life. For example, I can explain for my mother that high cholesterol food can lead heart attack, congestive heart failure, kidney damage and so on. Consequently, I can utilize biology information to education people and study in the pharmaceutical field.
At the age of 18, I came to America with my parents and speak of a few words in English.
I was always proud of myself about my academic history in my country, Vietnam; however, I was shocked when attending to high school in America because my academic achievement seemed to stop. I become a freshman instead of a junior at high school. Even though the first year in school was my toughest time, I challenged myself to take all academic classes like regular others high school students. Nevertheless, everything became smoother at my second year and third year at high school and I decided to take AP calculus and AP Chemistry. Unlike regular students, I graduated high school within two years and a half. In addition, I attended to Whatcom Community College, WCC, as a Running start student to take some academic classes such as: psychology, sociology. I complete Direct Transfer Degree within five quarters, unfortunately I didn't have chance to finish biology series because of limited number of class. As a result, I will take biology series and pursue Molecular Biology major at University of Washington. My GPA currently is 3.87, I promised myself that by the time I will be finishing DTD at WCC, my GPA will be higher and obtain enough knowledge, experiences to prepare to my career path.
Studying in a non-native language is one of the toughest experiences for me. Obviously, English is my language barrier that prevents me succeeding in school and education system in America, which is different from education in my country, also put me away from the line of achievement in education. I don't understand what my teachers and friends say and I can't read textbook and do assignments, homework, projects and so on. Nevertheless, surely overcoming language barrier bring me a positive impact to my career choice, becoming a pharmacist. I am always motivated myself and love to learn. I am not bored of being in classroom and school. My experiences tell me that only of education can give me knowledge and provide optimistic future and English is just a hurdle that prevent me step further on my educational path. Only people who overcome hardship can be succeed, so I am. Overcoming language border tells me not to give up my ambition when facing difficulties in academic progress.
I will complete Direct Transfer Degree at Whatcom Community College at Summer 2012. I am grateful to community college that supported and enriched my knowledge and experiences. Unfortunately, the school is not able to provide an environment that encouraged learning and lacks of funding; therefore, Whatcom Community College doesn't offer upper-division biology courses. UW is a great opportunity for me to pursue Molecular Biology major and then apply to school of Pharmacy. I am excited with academic rigor and excellent professors that motivated me to study, experience, and practice from concepts, labotary experiments, and lectures at UW. Moreover, I aim to participate research and future pharmaceutical career at UW to improve and save life. I believe that I can contribute my diversity, innovation, knowledge, experiences, ability to UW as a whole and biology specifically.
Topic:
* Tell us about your college career to date, describing your performance, educational path and choices.
* Explain any situations that may have had a significant positive or negative impact on your academic progress and or curricular choices. If you transferred multiple times, had a significant break in your education, or changed career paths, explain.
* What are the specific reasons you wish to leave your most recent college/university and/or program of study
* Tell us about your intended major and career aspirations.
* Are you prepared to enter your intended major at this time? If not, describe your plans for preparing for the major. What led you to choose this major? If you are still undecided, why? What type of career are you most likely to pursue after finishing your education?
* How will the UW help you attain your academic, career, and/or personal goals?
Here is my essay:
I grew up in small hometown in Vietnam and had witnessed images of many people being hurt and dying because of not having enough medicines to cure their illness. Plus, I had seen many charity organizations come to my village to deliver medicines for poor families. Those images always captured in my mind and have driven me to become a pharmacist with passion in science, especially biology. Being a pharmacist is a great contribution for the society and it also satisfies heart, which never resist helping people, and my love in biology. Biology is of my natural choice of major and I am interested in it more than anything else. When I was about six years old, my father was diagnosed that he had asthma which probably from my great-grandfather. I wondered at that time that why I didn't inherit asthma from my father? As a result, such a question drove me to passion of biology. I found out there is no limit information in biology and the topic of biology is applicable in everyday life. For example, I can explain for my mother that high cholesterol food can lead heart attack, congestive heart failure, kidney damage and so on. Consequently, I can utilize biology information to education people and study in the pharmaceutical field.
At the age of 18, I came to America with my parents and speak of a few words in English.
I was always proud of myself about my academic history in my country, Vietnam; however, I was shocked when attending to high school in America because my academic achievement seemed to stop. I become a freshman instead of a junior at high school. Even though the first year in school was my toughest time, I challenged myself to take all academic classes like regular others high school students. Nevertheless, everything became smoother at my second year and third year at high school and I decided to take AP calculus and AP Chemistry. Unlike regular students, I graduated high school within two years and a half. In addition, I attended to Whatcom Community College, WCC, as a Running start student to take some academic classes such as: psychology, sociology. I complete Direct Transfer Degree within five quarters, unfortunately I didn't have chance to finish biology series because of limited number of class. As a result, I will take biology series and pursue Molecular Biology major at University of Washington. My GPA currently is 3.87, I promised myself that by the time I will be finishing DTD at WCC, my GPA will be higher and obtain enough knowledge, experiences to prepare to my career path.
Studying in a non-native language is one of the toughest experiences for me. Obviously, English is my language barrier that prevents me succeeding in school and education system in America, which is different from education in my country, also put me away from the line of achievement in education. I don't understand what my teachers and friends say and I can't read textbook and do assignments, homework, projects and so on. Nevertheless, surely overcoming language barrier bring me a positive impact to my career choice, becoming a pharmacist. I am always motivated myself and love to learn. I am not bored of being in classroom and school. My experiences tell me that only of education can give me knowledge and provide optimistic future and English is just a hurdle that prevent me step further on my educational path. Only people who overcome hardship can be succeed, so I am. Overcoming language border tells me not to give up my ambition when facing difficulties in academic progress.
I will complete Direct Transfer Degree at Whatcom Community College at Summer 2012. I am grateful to community college that supported and enriched my knowledge and experiences. Unfortunately, the school is not able to provide an environment that encouraged learning and lacks of funding; therefore, Whatcom Community College doesn't offer upper-division biology courses. UW is a great opportunity for me to pursue Molecular Biology major and then apply to school of Pharmacy. I am excited with academic rigor and excellent professors that motivated me to study, experience, and practice from concepts, labotary experiments, and lectures at UW. Moreover, I aim to participate research and future pharmaceutical career at UW to improve and save life. I believe that I can contribute my diversity, innovation, knowledge, experiences, ability to UW as a whole and biology specifically.