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Growing up with eczema has restricted me; UC 2



14janicel 3 / 15  
Nov 25, 2013   #1
i dont know how i managed to write one essay for three different prompts but i did. hahahha. feel free to dissect it, rip it apart, and take any necessary means to improve this essay. thanks!!

UC 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

UW B1: The University of Washington seeks to create a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences, and viewpoints. How would you contribute to this community?

Common app: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.


Growing up with eczema has restricted me but I found a way out of those restrictions every time. When I couldn't play soccer under the sun in kindergarten, I begged my mom to enroll me in gymnastics and she did. When my health conditions forced me to quit gymnastics, leave public school and enroll in home school in 8th grade, I did so with pride. Eczema, a genetic curse preventing me from continuing my passions, ultimately blessed me with unique opportunities to discover new interests.

Ironically, the absence of a teacher freed me to grow both as a student and person. With the power to craft my own schedule, I could spend more time reading Howard Zinn's A People's History of America instead of traditional history textbooks. In the past, I only received exposure to state-prescribed textbooks that overly eulogized Columbus for discovering the 3-dimensional New World. Zinn's liberal lens exposed me to evidence proving Columbus committed genocide, a heinous war crime, on the indigenous. Authors of textbooks strayed away from controversy, censoring vital information, and I was naive to accept without doubting. By pursuing this passion, I not only learned to challenge the widely accepted notions of society before forming my own opinions but also developed a penchant for historical literature. I may have been restricted by eczema but ultimately forged my own path to happiness, finding meaning in an activity in spite of those denied to me.

I experienced the meaning of perspective firsthand while attending weekly Thursday sessions with other homeschoolers to discuss current events. Our different backgrounds, individualized interests and ambitions fostered a plethora of contrasting views. Discipline, a necessary evil I argued, justified the 2009 execution of Muhammad (he killed 10 civilians in a 2002 shooting). It bothered me that others, knowing right from wrong, still argued against capital punishment. I never saw the complexities of the subject, never associating executions with faces, until a girl moved me with a story of her uncle awaiting a verdict for death penalty. There was no clear-cut answer. I saw the immorality of killing a possibly-innocent person and learned to remain open-minded, to listen to other perspectives, even to question and challenge my own belief systems.

As an open-minded individual, I live for the thrill of controversy and change. These combined homeschool experiences taught me to both challenge and respect opposing views, accepting others in spite of differences while balancing my identity with a willingness to change. I aspire to enter college taking pride in my current views heavily shaped by my Christian and conservative upbringing but graduate with my own views influenced by the diverse university community. My identity as an open-minded skeptic, fearless of vocalizing controversial stances, will ultimately enrich the college experience of self-exploration for both myself and my peers.

QueenRandom96 1 / 2  
Nov 26, 2013   #2
I've been reading a lot of essays lately and I have to say, yours has so far been the best! The way you put yourself in words.... it's beautiful and inspirational. I feel like I'm reading the writing of a professional writer.
dzup36 2 / 5  
Nov 27, 2013   #4
man I got to say that's a really good essay. I can spot no grammatical errors.
I'm sure you know to modify it just a tiny bit to fit each prompt more nicely.
For the UC prompt, "What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud "
It may sound weird to talk about why you're proud of yourself, but with your writing skills it should be a piece of brownie :)

Just touch a bit on the "proud" part and you're golden. Perhaps platinum.


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