A lot could be said for why I chose to leave LeMoyne College, but all that comes to mind is the disappoint I have thinking about the year I missed out on attending the home of the dolphins. My second semester, spring 2008, was rough. Trying to juggle a full time education, two jobs, family life and simply growing up, was starting to catch up to me. I ended that semester with a rather low GPA, which didn't go unnoticed by me...or my parents . I made a conscious decision that this wasn't how I was going to live my life and that it was time to take responsibility for myself.
I was unsure of my major, Political Science at the time, and I was unsure of the career that I had chosen for myself. Attending a year at our local community college, OCC, seemed like a logical choice, and the best decision for me.
^Why would it be a logical choice?? I suggest you clarify that point over here.
Maybe I had spent too much time considering what other people wanted, and not enough time thinking about what I wanted. So I used my time at Onondaga Community College to regroup, reassess my life, and focus on my education.
After completing spring 2008 at LeMoyne, I found a thousand and one reasons to blame my somewhat unsuccessful semester on. A year ago, money troubles, my family, my friends, my professors and my boyfriend were all responsible for the weakest moment I've experienced in my educational history. However, I've spent a significant amount of time realizing that at the end of the day,realized that I have to be able to live with myself and the choices and decisions I make. I take full responsibility for a low GPA and low self-esteem when I left LeMoyne, but I've come a long way since then.
*In reference to the part in bold, how exactly were these people responsible?
It just makes the reader want to know why. However, since no explanation is offered, it lead me as a reader to think that perhaps you are exaggerating? Specifics would prevent that however.
I have grown as a student, and as a person. I know now that I want to be involved in changing lives.I want to be involved in the education process and LeMoyne College represents an institution where I can do so. It's going to take a lot of work, perseverance and drive, and maybe some of the same challenges I once faced will surface again. However, I am now equipped with the skills I need to rise above any difficulties that are thrown my way.
^The part in bold, I did not get.
Also, in your earlier paragraph, you say youve come a long way since then. Yet in this new paragraph, you still have not said how. Claims should always be supported with some material if they are to have any validity.
The last sentence that I have 'bolded', there is no reference to what skills you have developed and you are currently equipped with.
While I attended LeMoyne I was an active member in Student Senate and Pre-Law Society, and although I wasn't 100% happy with the major I had declared at the time, the professors, faculty and staff were nothing but helpful and extremely talented. While I have learned a lot about myself and have worked to become the strong individual I believe I am today, I miss being a dolphin. I miss walking around campus and knowing that I have a wonderful support system, similar to a second family. I miss having an amazing group of individuals armed with an array of skills and talents who are there to guide me in the right direction, and I am fully prepared to utilize the resources available to me at LeMoyne College, that I may not have explored previously . LeMoyne College has so much to offer and I am truly confident now that I have so much to offer the college.
I have no doubt there are other students who claim to have suffered from personal failures or are victims of things that are out of their control. However, when it comes time to make a decision, it's important to know whether the student will be able to handle those circumstances and situations better than they could before...and I honestly know that I can.
LeMoyne found enough in me to accept me after graduating high school in 2007 with a Leadership Scholarship. I'm asking the college now, to realize that through the past couple of years I have only grown as a person and now have even more to offer. If given the opportunity to attend LeMoyne College again, I can promise it will not be wasted. You believed in me then. Believe in me now.
^Good ending.