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Hello my future roomie! Stanford University Short Answer


parswar 2 / 3  
Dec 16, 2009   #1
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

Hello my future roomie!

I've been sitting here for almost an hour trying to write, and all I've accomplished is refreshing Google news 15 times, and revisiting Engadget.com 10 times. I originally thought I would write about my interests in film: how I love to watch it and produce it. I was going to write about my fascination with making a story come alive on screen, and how every ounce of life around me inspires a film. But I then decided I wanted to present a more holistic view of myself.

I thought of writing about my easy going personality and my love for games. I wanted to write to you about my interest in discussing everything under the sun, or about how we could play Play Station, chess, poker, or any number of games together.

I wanted to incorporate how I love to sing, and yet I can't tell a tone apart to save my life. I thought of mentioning my interests in cooking, and my hatred of cleaning. I pondered talking about my family and my background or about my passion for drawing cartoons, and yet none of these seemed to come together to truly define me.

However, as I look back on it, this piece says a lot more about me than just the rudimentary details. The flow of the letter reflects the way I think. It is a collection of random ideas and concepts, tied together by what seems to be a lack of thought, and yet to me these ideas have a meaning. They make sense, and they are who I am.

While I can't promise to be the life of the party, I can promise that I won't be predictable. I'll be a piece-wise function, a person whose derivative cannot be taken. And while unique is, ironically, a cliché self description, I hope my name, at least, can earn me some credibility in the category.

Looking forward to meeting you,

***** **********

I don't know how well the essay and the structure work... any feedback would be appreicieated...

schmevie 6 / 17  
Dec 16, 2009   #2
It's definitely different.
I like it.
but
While I can't promise to be the life of the part y
This might be a little weird i dont think its appropriate but that might just be me.
other than that good work!
autumnwave 11 / 35  
Dec 16, 2009   #3
Your essay is good but you should express some more information such as you like how your roommate is. And what you could help a new roommate to live with you; or you can write what achievement you gained and so on...

Good luck to you and have a good time!
OP parswar 2 / 3  
Dec 16, 2009   #4
thanks, I'll work on it and do another version... anybody else have any suggestions or ideas? thanks..
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,337 129  
Dec 18, 2009   #5
Awesome, I like the approach you took. I think this way of responding works quite well. Now, after everything you create, there is usually a superfluous detail to chop out:

However, as I look back on it, this piece says a lot more about me than just the rudimentary details. The flow of the letter reflects the way I think. It is a collection of random ideas and concepts, tied together by what seems...----> just start the para with "The flow of this letter..." and see if you like it that way!

:-)
anhammond 3 / 28  
Dec 21, 2009   #6
great topic!
i like how you talk about random qualities to showcase your uniqueness.
maybe instead of being so direct "I wanted to present a more holistic view of myself", you could just show holistic through the essay.

in my opinion it is better to show rather than tell in a college essay
you could try to just say "...and how every ounce of life around me inspires a film. But I then decided, a few random facts ought to do the trick." or something similar.

i really like your tone too. its a letter to your roommate so informal works as well as your examples: life of the party, love to sing, etc.

good luck!


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