'Who is your hero who inspires you to achieve?' About my farther.

As cliché as it may sound, my dad is my hero. As I look back in my life- so far, a figure continues to pop up in my reflection: my father. Parents guide their children throughout their lives, they will make sure that their child is on the right path and will be there for them every step of the way in which they choose. My dad has always been there for me, pushing to be better all the way and believing that I really can succeed in all areas throughout life.

He is a strong, wise and courageous man who shows me each and every day the value of knowledge and that being the best you can, at the thing you love will make you strive harder to learn. My father has taught me a lot of lessons in life since I was young, but the one that stood out above them all was that of the subject of education. He always told me that if I wanted to 'stand on the mountain and have the world look at me, instead of me looking at the world' I would have to go out and make something of myself; he believes that education is one of the most valuable things in life- that and a focused mind. Due to his inspiration I truly believe this too.

My father has had a huge impact on the person who I am today; he has influenced my life by showing me the rights and wrongs, the ups and downs but most importantly what the real world is like.

Maximum of 500 words is needed, all feedback welcome- any idea of what to put of make it better is appreciated!

My father has had a huge impact on the person who I am today; he has influenced my life by showing me the rights and wrongs, the ups and downs but most importantly what the real world is like

You might want to explain how 'your father has influenced your life by showing you what the real world is like'
Maybe that can help you recall some incidents in which your father has helped you before

the way that they choose

And I think the structure could be better with one more paragraph.

I think you should add in more real life examples on how your dad has inspired you and so on :)

You've got only 500 words and you better not waste a single word that does not tell about you. The above is quite general knowledge and those admission officers would not be interested in such stuff. Talk about your father and how he inspired your life. Do not lose your focus from what the prompt asked you.