'Hey dude' essay for Roommate - Stanford app

prompt: VIRTUALLY ALL OF STANFORD'S UNDERGRADUATES LIVE ON CAMPUS. WRITE A NOTE TO YOUR FUTURE ROOMMATE
THAT REVEALS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU OR THAT WILL HELP YOUR ROOMMATE - AND US - KNOW YOU BETTER.

Hey Dude,

First, I assume you are dude because come on: sleeping in the same dorm with a total stranger of the opposite sex will be quite weird for a college freshman.

I am Enrique, and the first thing I have to say is that I talk--A LOT. That's a good thing and a bad thing. Please, let me know when it's a bad time to be talkative. I am what you may call an oddity: too weird, too insane, too calm, and too hyper, and, at the end, a bit normal. Yeah, I am hyperactive--that explains my talkativeness. It's kind of state of mind--when I try to slowdown it's really hard. I see it as a surplus of energy. So please, count on me to do anything--running, working-out, and reading, doing pranks or pulling all-nighters--other than being idle.

Ok, I will refrain from all-nighters. Let me explain you why: in Costa Rica, my country, we have a coffee culture. So, please do not be bewildered with this: I started to drink coffee when I was two months alive. Yeah, two months alive!

For the record: my grandma and my auntie still differ on who was the culprit.

Now, the irony is that coffee makes me sleepy. And yes, I did find out that interesting fact in my first all-nighter. Which, yes, it was an utter fail for I fell like a rock--and yet, aced my Calc II final. If I force it, I go to sleep. That's the way I work. So, for future pranks, or studying, be mindful of that.

I hope you like sports. I do--except soccer. I suck at soccer--and my country revolves around it. However, I am fairly good at tennis; not because I am actually marvelous, but because I can outlast my opponents. I like to work-out, and will like to try crew in the bay area. So, if you are looking for rowing at 6 am in a Saturday morning, we have a morning activity.

So, that will be pretty much me. Anything else will be impossible to describe in this paper. We will have to meet, take a good coffee cup-for fun-and talk about stuff so we can have an idea of how good roommates we could be.

Please, help me out with this...specially what can be cut down to meet the character limits.

First, I assume you are a dude, because come on,(i'm not exactly sure on how to use colons but a comma would probably be more suitable, i think) sleeping in the same dorm with a total stranger of the opposite sex will be quite weird for a college freshman.

You also use dashes a lot, you could probably do without them to cut down on characters. You can combine the paragraph about starting to drink coffee when you were two and the part about avoiding all-nighters.

Okay, I will refrain from all-nighters. You see, we Costa Ricans (is that how you refer to the people of Costa Rica?) have a coffee culture. I started to drink coffee when I was two months old! (well, 'old' has less characters that 'alive') Ironically, coffee makes me feel sleepy. Yes, I found that out during my first all-nighter, which was an utter failure. If I force myself to stay awake, the opposite happens.

Overall, i think it's an awesome essay. i enjoyed reading it:) comment on my essays too, please.

What is the character limit anyway?

seems interesting.. except too casual.. suggest an essay writing service like i did, they cud edit it..

Thanks for the comments Helterskelter!

That is interesting! Though yes, colleges advise against inappropriate and excessive usage of humor. So you might want to tone down the whole shebang a little. :)

I do--except soccer. I suck at soccer--and my country revolves around it I do--except soccer; I am pretty bad at it--and my country revolves around it

please do not be bewildered with this: I started to drink coffee when I was two months alive. Yeah, two months alive please do not be bewildered with this: I started to drink coffee when I was two months alive.Yes, you read correctly. Two months!

Good job; your roommate will be quite happy to share a room with you :)

Thanks! So, should I change the sentence about opposite sex?

It is really good, but in stead of saying "two months alive ," try two month old .

in reply to your question astua1, yes i do think you should remove the dude part, it will be quite obvious that u'd get a roommate of the same sex, so i suggest u remove it. that way, u can replace it with any extra info abt yourself:) instead, maybe start with hey roommate, or hey roomie...something like that

I actually like the dude part. The point of the essay is to show your personality, and I think this essay does that.

Your personality shines through in this essay. This can be seen from the very beginning (dude). Do not change to much of this because top schools like Stanford want to see your personality shine through. They do not want to see you as a "robot".... So change up some of the stuff, but keep that laid back personality! Good job!