Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I would also like for you guys to correct my grammar and if I need to add anything let me know I'd appreciate it, I want to make it sound mature thank you.
This school year I was fortunate enough to get hired as an office assistant on campus and it is an accomplishment that I am most proud of. Although I got the job, I struggled to officially become employed due to barriers that made this goal very tough to achieve. I had no previous work experience whatsoever, I lacked in my communication skills, and my resume wasn't very appealing. Interview after interview, I would never get called back and it was very devastating but that didn't stop me as I continued to submit applications. Through two months of searching, I was finally hired.
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Azucena, I believe that your essay will benefit more from your telling of your struggles to find a job. I am sure that with each application and rejection, you learned how to modify your approach to your interviews and dealing with people. So let us in on that journey. We are interested to know how you developed as a person through these trying times that you had. It is from these life lessons that you learned to become proud of your accomplishment, which was getting hired as an office assistant on campus. Tell us about the barriers that you had to overcome and how you did that in order to achieve your end result. Show us how your self confidence was built up by the rejections and relate all of those to the reasons as to why you are particularly proud of this accomplishment. After you complete that, we can begin fixing the grammatical problems of the essay. Don't worry, there is enough time to polish this essay and make sure that it is the best it can be :-) The essay at this point sounds too generic and generalized in discussion. Since this is a preliminary interview, you need to be as specific as can be and allow the admissions officer to see a side of you that the other common app prompts may not allow you to show.
wow, thank you so much! Now that you gave me sort of a general outline of what I should focus on this will become very helpful.
i took your advice into consideration, hopefully what I wrote this time around is more powerful, thank you.
This school year I was fortunate enough to get hired as an office assistant on campus and it is an accomplishment that I am most proud of. Although I got the job, I struggled to officially become employed due to barriers that made this goal very tough to achieve. As I had no previous work experience, I was never interviewed before so everything within that process was new to me. After time, I would never get called back so I took that as a form of rejection and I looked for better ways to improve my communication skills and my presence to impress those who were going to interview me. I knew that my resume wasn't very appealing and because of this it gave me more self-motivation to do extra research on what is essential to do during an interview and how to make my application stand out. Through all the interviews and all the job applications I filled out, and there were many, I felt that that I kept exceeding one after another. I learned how to carry myself in a positive way regardless of the numerous times I was turned down.
Through two months of searching I was finally employed; being able to get hired after dedicating so much time and effort is what made it all worth it. Through this process I learned how to always look at the bright side of these situations know matter how tough they may seem. I learned a lot of by myself through this journey and realized that I am a very ambitious person who will do whatever it takes to pursue any goals that I set myself. I demonstrated a lot of hard work and perseverance within myself. With that in mind, with these new skills that I gained through this job search experience I will work even harder and continue to push myself through my final academic and career years.
Azucena, let me try and help you polish this paper :-)
- When you have been applying to various jobs for more than 2 years and received nothing but rejection, it makes you question whether you truly have what it takes to land a job in today's employment world. Gainful employment is something that is very tough to achieve, specially for a person like me who has no work experience and can't use determination and fast learning skills as the only reason why I should be hired for a job. This was the situation that I found myself in. I was feeling rejected and hopeless. Rather than letting the negativity get to me, I decided to use the rejection to better myself instead.
I began working on my communication skills, developing it so that I would seem more confident in my interviews. I enhanced my writing abilities to prove my English language proficiency, and I also began to dress better in order to show myself off to the interviewers. These little changes that I made had a huge impact upon my interviews. I began to get call backs and after 2months of failing to land a job, I finally stood a better chance at getting one.
- When I finally landed my job as an Office Assistant on campus, I felt vindicated. My actions to further improve myself in relation to my goal in life paid off for me in the most positive way. It was because of the constant rejection that I learned the importance of striving for self improvement. The missed opportunities showed me how to look at the bright side of life and made me realize that an ambitious person will not so easily give up on his dreams, aspirations, and goals in life. It was because I developed this new mindset and used it to my advantage that I got the job I applied for. These are also the skills that I know I should never let go of because it will be the foundation of my future success in life. Hence, the reasons why I am so proud of finally gaining employment as an Office Assistant.
You can use my suggestions as the template for your next revision or, you can feel free to use this version if you wish :-) I hope I was able to help you out.
I am honestly very grateful right now, thank you very much for your help. This means so much to me I am just speechless, once again thank you thank you thank you!
