Topic: How has your family history, culture, or environment influenced who you are?
The year 1993 was the year when my life as a permanent resident in America began. Only months ago had Hurricane Andrew devastated various cities in Florida, when I descended the steps from the airplane in my mother's arms. Without looking back, my parents packed what little they owned and made the two-hour plane trip to "the land of the free", "the land of opportunities". As my parents and I arrived in Miami, we moved to Homestead, Florida. Little did we know, we were entering the city of most poverty in Miami-Dade.
My middle school had been one filled with gang, violence and drugs. An environment where students did not want to learn and teachers were scared to teach. Through all this, I remained an intellectual among the mob. When I graduated from middle school, I saw my escape. I "played the lottery" and applied at Coral Reef Senior High School. My parents always inculcated that in order to reach your potential, even your home could be left behind. After being accepted, I have made the 30-minute trip to school, everyday for four years, with the prospect of obtaining an education that can make me an asset to a respectable institution such as the University of Central Florida.
My parents both dropped out of high school, with the outlook of not being able to afford college. Therefore, I am a first generation graduate. Next summer, it will be their first time attending a graduation ceremony and since I was old enough to understand what the word sacrifice means, I understood that I owed my parents that much. My family history has motivated me to be the best I can be, to achieve as high as possible to make my parents proud. Most of all, to show them that their efforts in bringing me to America have not been in vain, it is my way of showing my gratitude.
My history is that of a poverty-stricken family who left their home in Dominican Republic in search of a better future for their offspring. I am a Hispanic Resident Alien. My family history is what pushes me to succeed. This same history motivates me everyday, to become a better person and to obtain the opportunities that my parents never had.
A family's history can be both a positive and a negative aspect of an individual's life. For some, they let the history define them and do not learn from it. While others, define their history and create a better future for themselves. I have always considered myself a participant of the latter.
On that blissful day where the principal hands me my high school diploma, I will look into the sea of audiences and see my parents' proud faces. Only then will my persistence and determination be triumphant.
This reads like free-writing than an essay. What I mean is: You've got all of the elements of the essay here, but it reads rather casually rather than as a well organized essay that flows and has a coherent theme. Now that you know what you're going to cover and the main points you want to make, go back and revise for grammar and style, improving your transitions and making sure that you introduction and conclusion match.
Yea like other have said you got an essay here, you just gotta find away to get it all together, get it to flow.
Other than that pretty good :), good luck!!
