Please critique my first draft for a cornell supplement
For this copy I am looking more towards help with the ideas rather than the grammar which I'l improve myself
Cornell Supplemental Essay
Throughout my academic life I have been interested in many subjects, but the fields of history, and mathematics have captured me and never let go. I clearly remember when at eight years old I was given by my parents a book on Greek mythology. Although at the time I was mostly fascinated by the supernatural and not historically accurate tales of the Zeus, Hercules, and etc. what it also ignited in me is the interest historical culture of Greece, which I started satisfying in various history, and social studies classes. From that point on that interest grew into one of my favorite subjects as I became thirsty for as much historical knowledge as possible be it an event as major as World War II or as obscure as the Basmachi revolt in the Soviet Union. Along with this growing interest for historical events, I also became enamored with the world of mathematics. Around the age of eleven my elementary school teacher began challenging me to further my knowledge in the area of mathematics as much as possible, showing me that while mathematics do become more difficult the reward of gaining new ways to reason, and think is worth it
The world of history has always excited me due to its deep world of human interaction, and development. Glorious conquests, new explorations, innovations, and creations of new cultures have always grasped my breath. History could also serve as a lesson to the people by analyzing the horrible, and the beautiful events of the past, as George Santayana put "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.". The world of the mathematics however to me was always more in a realm of logic, and reason. To me the laws, and the rules of mathematics contrasted sometimes the unpredictable subject of history. Thus, what I always appreaciated in mathematics is its tendency to teach people how to think critically, and apply reason.
Cornell's mission statement briefly summarized in the words of the co-founder Ezra Cornell: "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." is very fitting as I plan on possibly pursuing both history, and mathematics. The strength of Cornell's School of Arts and Sciences' history program in the ancient, medieval, and modern European history is highly appealing to me due to my desire to acquire more knowledge in the area of European history. The ability of engaging in accredited independent research is of high interest to me due to my passion for research. As for the research I plan on doing in the area of mathematics if given chance would be in the established topics of Logical, and Statistical research, which would allow me to cultivate the beginning for further studies in business.
For this copy I am looking more towards help with the ideas rather than the grammar which I'l improve myself
Cornell Supplemental Essay
Throughout my academic life I have been interested in many subjects, but the fields of history, and mathematics have captured me and never let go. I clearly remember when at eight years old I was given by my parents a book on Greek mythology. Although at the time I was mostly fascinated by the supernatural and not historically accurate tales of the Zeus, Hercules, and etc. what it also ignited in me is the interest historical culture of Greece, which I started satisfying in various history, and social studies classes. From that point on that interest grew into one of my favorite subjects as I became thirsty for as much historical knowledge as possible be it an event as major as World War II or as obscure as the Basmachi revolt in the Soviet Union. Along with this growing interest for historical events, I also became enamored with the world of mathematics. Around the age of eleven my elementary school teacher began challenging me to further my knowledge in the area of mathematics as much as possible, showing me that while mathematics do become more difficult the reward of gaining new ways to reason, and think is worth it
The world of history has always excited me due to its deep world of human interaction, and development. Glorious conquests, new explorations, innovations, and creations of new cultures have always grasped my breath. History could also serve as a lesson to the people by analyzing the horrible, and the beautiful events of the past, as George Santayana put "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.". The world of the mathematics however to me was always more in a realm of logic, and reason. To me the laws, and the rules of mathematics contrasted sometimes the unpredictable subject of history. Thus, what I always appreaciated in mathematics is its tendency to teach people how to think critically, and apply reason.
Cornell's mission statement briefly summarized in the words of the co-founder Ezra Cornell: "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study." is very fitting as I plan on possibly pursuing both history, and mathematics. The strength of Cornell's School of Arts and Sciences' history program in the ancient, medieval, and modern European history is highly appealing to me due to my desire to acquire more knowledge in the area of European history. The ability of engaging in accredited independent research is of high interest to me due to my passion for research. As for the research I plan on doing in the area of mathematics if given chance would be in the established topics of Logical, and Statistical research, which would allow me to cultivate the beginning for further studies in business.
