I would like some advice on my essay to the University of Florida the topic is:
Describe a meanigful event; experiencs or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contributionto the UF campus community
My Essay:
July 2nd, 1999 was by far the most life changing moment I had ever experienced. On that sad day the Gwinnett county police contacted my mom to let her know that her husband, my father, had died of a heart attack around three thirty that afternoon. By the look on my mothers face I could tell what had happened. My mother immediately took my sister and me to our babysitter's house and went to go see her now deceased husband. While waiting for the predictable news so many things were running through my head. Things like, "This is probably all a dream, this can not be happening", or like, "How will I survive the rest of my life without the man who raised me". A knock on the door was heard, my heart had never beat so fast until this day. My mother walked in crying, and I just knew it, my prediction was right, he was gone forever. The last thing I ever said to my father was "I love you", and gave him a hug. Even though my father is gone he is my inspiration to do well in everything I do.
Ever since that tragic day I see everything different now. I do not take life for granted and always try my hardest to live life to the fullest, because life is just to short not to. I think The University of Florida community would appreciate someone like me. I am someone who is determined, responsible, and hard working. For example, during second semester English I was having a lot of troubling keeping a good grade in that class. I started to feel as if there was no hope, I just thought about my father and how much of a hard worker he was, and I felt that if I gave up I would let him down. I buckled down and started studying harder and doing the readings, and with time my grade was were it needed to be to pass the class When I put my mind to something rest assured it WILL come out the way I want it to. I understand The University of Florida has many brilliant students in every field of education, and to be honest I may or may not be one of those excellent students. I can assure you though that I will work hard to become one. By the time I graduate from college and am looking for some type of job, I don't want The University to be embarrassed to recommend me. I want you guys to be able to brag about me, be happy to talk about me. I truly believe that with my determination to succeed in life, my personality, responsibility, and my hard work ethic I will fit in perfectly with the University of Florida community mentally and most importantly academically.
Describe a meanigful event; experiencs or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contributionto the UF campus community
My Essay:
July 2nd, 1999 was by far the most life changing moment I had ever experienced. On that sad day the Gwinnett county police contacted my mom to let her know that her husband, my father, had died of a heart attack around three thirty that afternoon. By the look on my mothers face I could tell what had happened. My mother immediately took my sister and me to our babysitter's house and went to go see her now deceased husband. While waiting for the predictable news so many things were running through my head. Things like, "This is probably all a dream, this can not be happening", or like, "How will I survive the rest of my life without the man who raised me". A knock on the door was heard, my heart had never beat so fast until this day. My mother walked in crying, and I just knew it, my prediction was right, he was gone forever. The last thing I ever said to my father was "I love you", and gave him a hug. Even though my father is gone he is my inspiration to do well in everything I do.
Ever since that tragic day I see everything different now. I do not take life for granted and always try my hardest to live life to the fullest, because life is just to short not to. I think The University of Florida community would appreciate someone like me. I am someone who is determined, responsible, and hard working. For example, during second semester English I was having a lot of troubling keeping a good grade in that class. I started to feel as if there was no hope, I just thought about my father and how much of a hard worker he was, and I felt that if I gave up I would let him down. I buckled down and started studying harder and doing the readings, and with time my grade was were it needed to be to pass the class When I put my mind to something rest assured it WILL come out the way I want it to. I understand The University of Florida has many brilliant students in every field of education, and to be honest I may or may not be one of those excellent students. I can assure you though that I will work hard to become one. By the time I graduate from college and am looking for some type of job, I don't want The University to be embarrassed to recommend me. I want you guys to be able to brag about me, be happy to talk about me. I truly believe that with my determination to succeed in life, my personality, responsibility, and my hard work ethic I will fit in perfectly with the University of Florida community mentally and most importantly academically.