The admission is due to Feb.28.So it's very urgent...
My essay below includes 2058 characters...58 more.
Help me edit my essay please...Thank you!!
This section is an opportunity for you to elaborate on the information you have provided earlier. You may discuss a special talent, a personal experience or an activity that you have been involved in that is relevant to the course you are applying for admission.
As your essay is limited to only 2000 characters (including punctuations and space), do present your ideas in a focused and thoughtful manner.
I was born in China's most northern capital city Harbin,where it snows for five months a year.Ice sculpture is what Harbin is prestigious for,and also what changes my world.
Three years ago, I was just admitted to the province's best high school.And It seems that I was quite mediocre against the background under my outstanding classmates.I envied those irreplaceable heroes who saved world in films.During that time I was wondering what position I owned in this world,and whether I would become an unique heroine?
The answer appeared that winter.In January,an ice sculpture contest was held inside the community.I together with several classmates decided to participate in it.
The most important factor for an ice sculpture is design.I was very pleased that my design of an ice pyramid,which was good-looking and easy to make,was finally chosen.I came up with a simple method to produce ice cream bricks.We shaped snow into dozens of small cuboid and poured water on them.And they changed into white ice bricks the next day.Then pile the bricks up and freeze every two bricks with water.The embryonic form of the pyramid came into being.But the question is,how could we smooth the edges of the pyramid? One solution was to make some ice cream bricks of three prism,but we turned it down for fear that the gaps between bricks would be a mess.Therefore we decided to shovel the ice into for bevel faces.Though the pyramid shrinked when finished,it could be regarded to be exquisite!And to our delight,we won the second prize in the contest!
On the way back,a classmate said to me,"You were terrific!We would not have won it without your ideas and directions!"It was when I realized that I myself could be a heroine!It seems heroes are not far away from us, and all of us have the potential to be outstanding.The world is so spacious that no one can exist in everyone's heart.You can be your own hero as long as you play to your advantages and make every effort!From then on,I was no longer confused of my value.Because I know that I am an ice sculpture heroine!
Maybe the process of reasoning is a little strained...
.Ice sculpture is what Harbin is prestigious for,and also what changes my world.
Ice sculpture is what Harbin is well known for its expertise and what was instrumental in changing my world.AndItit seemedseems that I was quite mediocre against the background under my outstanding classmates
....
And I found myself quite behind the outstanding students in my class.I envied those irreplaceable heroes who saved world in films
.... you were talking about real life scenarios and why suddenly came up with fictitious or unknown characters?
.I envied those irreplaceable heroes who saved world in films.During that time I was wondering what position I owned in this world,and whether I would become an unique heroine?
This is what I suggest;
My "just average" character keep bothering me a lot and I often wondered what would my position be in this world. I knew I wanted to be someone great in my dreams.