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Idle time and Spontaneity -- Stanford Roomate Essay



saroth 11 / 36  
Dec 29, 2010   #1
Prompt:Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.

______________________________________________________________________ ____________
Dear Roomie,

As an Indian boy, I am very easy to stereotype, but you will soon discover that I have unique peculiarities which are accentuated by my hobbies.

I may come off as a shy person at first, but we will become friends soon enough. I may smile and nod a lot at first, but that's not me being creepy, I'm just nervous. You may often find me staring out the window, lost in my own thoughts, thinking about anything from the blades of grass on the ground to the mechanics of the lawn mower mowing it. In my opinion, time spent thinking is not idle time, but rather an opportunity to appreciate the world's simplicity and at the same time its complexity.

We could be walking to our next class together, and suddenly I'll start a random conversation on what we should have for lunch or I'll go nerd mode and try to measure the velocity and acceleration of our motion. I may even point out random patterns and designs in nature and this is probably why I find palindromes amusing. But in all seriousness, when it's time to hit the books I'm completely focused and I can work all night if I need to. I am determined to fulfill my dreams and aspirations, but it's all right if we have some fun from time to time

All things said, I am a very happy person. I've learned to look past failures and obstacles and rather focus on the bright side of things. This sense of optimism has helped stay focused on achieving my goals. And if you're completely different and we have nothing in common, rest assured we will find something because I am always up for new experiences. I hope that we will become good friends and maybe even stay that way for the rest of our lives.

Yours truly,
<<Insert Name>>
______________________________________________________________________ ____________
CONCERNS
- Is it good and does it talk about my personality?

- Should I get rid of the first paragraph to reduce the word count? I'm 64 words over so I kinda need help on word count .

- I added a bit on school, but should I talk more about my goals of engineering, physics, and etc.?

- Should I talk more about my intrests like Soccer, Video Games, Movies, and etc.

Thanks a lot :)

livedreamfly3 3 / 26  
Dec 29, 2010   #2
Overall, it's well organized... I like some of the random quirkiness. (palindrome.. etc.)
Yes, idt the 1st paragraph is necessary.
No-- don't add more stuff about school.
I think you should emphasize on what you think you'll be expected to "do" around stanford.
The whole point of this essay is to show what is NOT in your activity CA or your other profile questions. I think for this one, it's best to focus on the quirks and weird things that you find fascinating.

:)
donotplagiarize 2 / 3  
Dec 29, 2010   #3
I think that the "As an Indian boy" part doesn't really connect to anything. You just mention it and totally talk about something else.

I really like the last paragraph and how you say that you are open to new experiences, because that is what college is all about.

And I do think you could cut the first paragraph out and maybe replace it with some more interesting information about your hobbies. Overall, it is creative and interesting.

Please check out my essay too!
Thanks


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