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U of Illinois essay! "past experiences" - for civil engg. Lego.



ayushb 2 / 1  
Oct 16, 2012   #1

Lego dreams



I was born in New Delhi, India, but moved to Dubai, UAE in 2001. At the age of 6, the first thing i noticed was the buildings. Visually breathtaking and structurally brilliant, they appeared to me as giant, majestic creatures, looming over, shimmering with brilliantly lit lights. From our car, I could see the streets reflections on the meticulously kept clean building panels. I went home, took out my favorite set of Lego's and started creating cities. Cities in red and blue, cities that I was proud of. My own legolands. And now, eleven years later, the awe has developed into nothing but a passion.

after the 9th grade, I was one of the few people who knew what they wanted out of life. My goal was simple - to redesign the world and to refine the everyday lives of people through infrastructure. But there was one problem. I had absolutely no idea of the job aspect of it. I did get an idea however, thanks to an experience with my uncle seeing my Lego city's, which had been carefully preserved by my mother, and him taking me to visit the Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) offices in Dubai, and the Emaar construction sites, which are responsible for prestigious projects such as the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world.

A civil engineer's job isn't simple. Not only does a civil engineer govern larger than life projects, but he also becomes someone on whom a lot of people and the economy as a whole are dependent upon. This is what most people did not understand in my junior high class, and I seemed weird to them for being so passionate about something. However, I did not let that get in the way of my dream and regularly preached my fellow mates on how homes, offices, roads, buildings, everything is infrastructure and a civil engineers makes all of these things come to life.

In a way, all these little things in life helped me grow as a person. They nurtured the curious kid in me. The Lego blocks, my uncle, my visits to the construction sites, my childhood in an infrastructure oriented city like Dubai, all of these things inspired me to choose the toughest subjects in school - physics, chemistry, math-calculus, economics and advanced English.

Now, the civil engineer inside me is ready to explode out into the open. The millions of infrastructure concepts that have collected over the years in my head now require a medium to flow into reality. It's time for me to now realize my dreams and actually do what i want to do in life. The little six year old, awestruck by those majestic structures is now ready to jump out and redefine cities, lives and change the world.

Jennyflower81 - / 674  
Oct 16, 2012   #2
From our car, I could see the streets reflecting on the meticulously keptcleaned building panels.

Cities in red and blue, cities that I wasmade me feel proud.of.

And now, eleven years later, the awe of my city has developed into nothing but a passion.

I had absolutely no ideawas oblivious of what the job entailed.aspect of it.

I did get an idea however, thanks to an experience with my uncle seeing my Lego city's, which had been carefully preserved by my mother, and him taking me to visit the Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) offices in Dubai, and the Emaar construction sites, which are responsible for prestigious projects such as the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world.


Maybe say it like this: "I learned more about this job field when my uncle, who had seen my Lego cities, took me on a trip. We went to the Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) offices in Dubai, and the Emaar construction sites, which are responsible for prestigious projects such as the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world."
caseySchooling 5 / 22  
Oct 17, 2012   #3
I would recommend that you take out the part about what classes you took. These essays are supposed to reflect other aspects not reflected on your transcript. As you already have your transcript being sent to the school, these sentences are unnecessary.
wjbaw 2 / 5  
Oct 17, 2012   #4
I love the imagery in this essay.
To make the conclusion stronger, talk about how your vision and drive will enable you to thrive at U of Illinois.
Overall, it was pretty good.
May you critique mine? I would really appreciate it.
Thanks!
Jayashree95 4 / 18  
Oct 24, 2012   #5
This is good :-) remove the bits about what you've studied...


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