ESSAY #2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
The most beautiful words ever spoken by Man (or God) are "Blessed are the Peace makers". And one need not go to Camp David to be a peacemaker; being kind, generous and helpful to humanity is just as good an effort for an enslaved soul.
Working as a voluntary helper at Dar-ul-Sakoon, an institution for the mentally handicapped, made me realize how everyone working there was in fact a peacemaker. Even though our help was like a drop in the ocean, most of the time it is that drop that makes all the difference.
At first, Dar-ul-Sakoon began as another sociable excuse to meet friends, but It's only when I stood in that shaded courtyard amongst the shunned, their baleful eyes staring back at me. That I felt all their pain, their suffering, and in that moment I understood, clearer than ever before, why I stood there. It was not to rake up hours of voluntary service or to meet up with my friends; It was those eyes that drew me back, the need to give them something that they may have never had before, watch hope spring from their dark pools. It was the sense of elation I felt each time I was able to make them smile that made me return again and again.
This very community service made me realize how gifted we are, yet how thankless. Just the very look on their faces taught me great humility, gratitude, and contentment for what we have and our responsibility to devote time and money to serve such humanity who have hearts and feelings much similar to ours. I grew stronger just by seeing them content in their empty world, and more importantly, realized how no amount of money could have bought the happiness I felt while helping them; my salary was the smile on their face, the strength of their spirit, but most of all, their determination to try and lead normal lives.
please leme know your thoguhts?, any content improvements i can add... or any grammar errors?
This one's shaping up quite nicely. Some of the grammar is a bit rough in places, though. For instance:
"At first, Dar-ul-Sakoon began as another sociable excuse to meet friends, but It's only when I stood in that shaded courtyard amongst the shunned, their baleful eyes staring back at me. That I felt all their pain, their suffering, and in that moment I understood, clearer than ever before, why I stood there." These two sentences should be combined.
"before, and watch hope spring from their dark pools."
"to serve such humanity who have hearts and feelings much similar to ours" could be revised to "to serve people who, despite their disabilities, have the same feelings we do" or some such.
Also, you might want to throw in an anecdote, a specific example of something you did to help the people you felt such compassion for.
