To impart knowledge - objectives and how these are appropriate to your long-range goals.

academic objectives

As someone who hopes to improve the education sector in my country, my academic objectives lay upon mastering the ability to impart knowledge, to influence and lead students and teachers, and grasping the philosophy, psychology, sociology and history of education. Furthermore, I'm looking forward to familiarize myself with an environment full of competition and outstanding people to prepare myself for my future as a member of the education sector. Therefore, getting a bachelor's degree from your University will create a solid academic foundation suitable for my long term goal of making a change in my country's current education system.

These are just minor study objectives. There is no real career goal indicated. You need to answer the questions:

- What academic level do you wish to become an academician in?
- What is your motivation to focus on that learning section?
- What specific classes and training does the program offer that directly relate to achieving these goals after you graduate from the course?

Try to visualize your educational career before answering this prompt. Simply put, you have to explain how Point A (schooling) will help you arrive at Point B (long range goals). The current presentation gets near to answering this. IT falls short of the actual and complete response. If this is a character limited response, then you have to totally change your answer. If you have at least 250 words to play with, then expand on this current version instead.

@Lucarian
I would also urge you to be much simpler in your descriptions. Some of your sentences tend to run on. I find that the more simpler you can be (both in language and sentence structure), the more powerful your writing becomes. Remember, you want the reviewers to get your intended meaning in its fullness even if they happen to be reading your essay at 9pm after a long day of work.

@Holt @kokosi

Thank you for your feedbacks. I rewrote it and I hope it's better this time. Please tell me if it's still lacking!

As someone who wants to improve the education system in my country, I look forward to building a solid academic foundation as an Education student at your university. My academic objectives lay upon analysing different practices of education from around the world, pinpointing the good and bad aspects of each practices and applying my findings to my crafts as an aspiring teacher and school principal. Through your E&S minor program specifically the Education in a Global Context course, I will be able to hone my skills as a teacher qualified for improving the education system in my country.

There is a slight improvement. Open the statement with the current last sentence to provide the direct academic goal in relation to your career target. Expand on the E and S minor program in the discussion as it applies to the improvement of the current educational system in your country. Since it is a minor focus of the study, do not focus too much on this aspect. An expanded summary would work just fine. Make sure to use impactful goal statements in the major course considerations. Use as many words as you can allot to that section. While the statement has improved, I cannot say that it is exceptional or memorable at this point. It still lacks proper information highlights. The most useless part of this statement is


Truth be told, the succeeding information could refer to any basic college, which is why the response is weak in terms of major and minor references.