Impeccable academics, breath taking view; Northwestern Sup- Why Northwestern?

Hi Guys!

Any input (whether material or grammar wise) is really appreciated, it's due very very soon. Thanks everyone!!

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

NORTHWESTERN STATEMENT

Northwestern strikes my attention as a school of impeccable academics, with a breath taking campus right on the shoreline of Lake Michigan, and a campus culture of infinite activities that would keep me well engaged throughout my undergraduate career. Northwestern University offers countless activities that grasp my attention. I would be thrilled to join Northwestern's chapter of Autism Speaks, an organization that I have volunteered for with my close friend for countless years. I know that attending NU will give me the opportunity to work with peers that are just as dedicated as I am to helping our society. The opportunities are endless for me to be an operative citizen to my community.

After browsing through the immense amount of research opportunities available to undergraduate Northwestern students, I know that NU will offer me so many ways to discover what I'm passionate about. It is advantageous for me to attend a school where exploration and pursuit for knowledge is encouraged and nurtured. I value research while I continue my journey of self-exploration towards discovering my major and passion.

Because I am entering college with an undeclared major, I know that the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences can prepare me thoroughly through a liberal arts curriculum. I am excited to focus on a variety of topics, and to learn about the world through so many perspectives. I hope to take advantage of the intricate guide and care of the Weinberg College, to discover what I am capable of, and how I can shape my qualities to fulfill my potential. Maybe, somewhere along my journey at the Weinberg College, I will even discover an interest that I've never had the chance to be exposed to before. I know that at Northwestern, my resources will definitely give me the opportunity to find out more about myself.

Experiences like this, along with the valuable education from one of the top colleges in the United States, are what I look forward to in completing a journey that will ignite my passion, and my future.

I value research while I continue my journey of self-exploration towards discovering my major and passion.
I think that you should elaborate on this a little more because you say that you value research but why? You never really explain that and you always want to make sure that any statement is fully explained so that the reader is not left wondering.

Also I am not sure how the university would feel about using NU instead of the full name, so to be safe just use the full name.

The rest of the essay was quite good but the last sentence you may want to rework a bit. I tried to think of something else to put in but I really could not.

I hope that this helped you and good luck!

Nice essay! I love the fact that it's concise (especially when NU doesn't impose a word limit). Many seniors fall into the trap of getting excessively wordy and rambling, which you've successfully avoided -- so congrats! A few suggestions:

1. "Impeccable" -- consider a different word. "Well-regarded"?
2. breath-taking
3. Substitute "countless" in place of "infinite." Then, get rid of "Northwestern University offers countless activities that grasp my attention" since it's repetitive to that point.

4. Love this point about Autism Speaks! This would be a really good place to add a few sentences to personalize. It sounds like you might already be involved, or have a story relating to this organization? Show your motivations.

5. "what I'm passionate about" -- What are you passionate about? Be specific. Tell them what it is you're passionate about and why NU will support it (do they have a specific academic program? A professor you like? A club that supports the subject?)

6. This is a great line: "I value research while I continue my journey of self-exploration towards discovering my major and passion."
7. I'd get rid of "Maybe, somewhere along my journey at the Weinberg College, I will even discover an interest that I've never had the chance to be exposed to before" since you already touched upon this point in the last paragraph.

8. Put "Northwestern" in place of "one of the top colleges in the United States" (this is your choice, but to me it seems a little status-oriented to write about NU's high ranking)

Great essay! I think that admissions officers will enjoy your writing.