importance of first impressions - knowledge gained outside school

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to look at my essay. Any and all help is immensely appreciated

Discuss any knowledge you have acquired in any field outside school.

They huddle outside the doors, congregating in the same groups they've maintained for three years now, seeking the familiar in anticipation of the unknown. Meanwhile, we huddle inside in a similar fashion, seeking instead to pass around last minute instructions and ensure everyone is well informed of their roles. Today's the first day of summer marching band, and as section leaders it's our job to welcome the freshmen outside and show them the kind of band we strive to be. Although the main focus for today is making sure they enjoy their first day and look forward to the subsequent season, it is also important to impress on them good rehearsal manners so the band can rehearse properly and efficiently in the future. The freshmen won't learn these by listening to lecture after lecture; they'll learn them by observing and mimicking older members during their first couple of days with the band. First impressions, then, are vital to both the success of the band and life in general.

Characters: 991/1000

I never saw this kinda sentence. it can be right too what you have already written!to impress them with good rehearsal

Hey lornam your one's goooood! I mean at first I was like what's all this huddling about! (though I thought it might be about marching as there's already a post like this) And then it turned out to be this and clearly about marching band... The character limit is way low so I guess it's just no use of telling to write more on some specific thing.. Which you already knew!

So it's good... Nothing seems wrong to me! See if anyone else finds something...

They huddle outside the doors, congregating in the same groups they have maintained for three years now and seeking the familiar in anticipation of the unknown.

Meanwhile, we huddle inside in a similar fashion, seeking instead to pass around last minute instructions andto ensure that everyone is well informed of their roles.

The freshmen won't learn these by listening to lecture after lecture; they'll learn them by observing and mimicking older members during their first couple of days with the band .

This is a really well written piece, I really like your wording! especially


Just try not to use contractions too much, it takes away from the professionalism of the response.
Also, the ending is weak, try to sum up what you have learned in more than just a simple sentence. Perhaps state the importance of this knowledge (to show why you have chosen to write about it in the first place).

Other than that, it's great!! Good luck and can you look over some of my stuff too? Thanks :)