"Improvability" - NYU Transfer (activities, additional information)

Hello all,
I was wondering if you could help me on my last short essays I have for my application. I feel like I'm laundry listing my activities. Any types of suggestions are more than appreciated.

In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

Previously, I had tried to find other activities to become involved with, but nothing ever satisfied me like theater. Writing was my gateway back into theater. As I began to write, I realized there were other aspects of theater to explore such as acting and directing.

Through acting, I was able to improve my writing ability. Before acting, my writing was mostly plot-driven, based on the Poetics of Aristotle. Acting revealed to me a whole new school of though. As an actor, I had to pinpoint my character's objectives and dive into their psychology. This process carried over to my writing and I was able to learn how to create character-driven works.

From directing, I learned the importance of communication and leadership. I had to be authoritative, sensitive to egos, and maintain my sense of humor all at the same time. As far as leadership, I learned to coach and manage others.

Additional Information. (No more than 2000 characters)
In the beginning of my freshman year at college, I worked with Parking Services on campus from 09/2008 - 01/2009. My duties included selling parking permits for events and activities on campus and set up. I worked an average of six hours per week. From my job with Parking Services, I learned the importance of time management. My jobs before this one were during breaks, so I did not have to worry about school. Since this job was during the school year, I had to schedule my study and leisure time in advance

During the same time, I was also involved with UCSB's improvisational comedy troupe known as "Improvability". I was invited by the troupe to participate in their improv comedy workshop to learn the fundamentals of improvising on stage. The weekly two hour workshop sessions lasted for a total of eight weeks. My work with Improvability greatly improved my writing. Not only did my mind sharpen, but my knowledge of scene work expanded. I was able to take the simple elements of character, relationship, and conflict and apply them to larger works. In addition, I got the opportunity to network with members of both the theater and film community.

Given the word limit, perhaps you would be better off going into detail about what you learned from one production, rather than listing all of the ones you were involved in.

For the additional information, you should include the significance -- what the experience says about you.

Good luck.

You're the best, Sean. I'll revise these pronto in hopes of you giving them another look.

I'm two words over. What should I cut out? Again, suggestions are greatly appreciated

This second version is a lot better! It is so thoughtful. I think you should have 2 paragraphs. the first should grab the reader's attention and name those two activities in theater -- acting and directing -- and what you learned from each.

The second paragraph should be shorter, and it should be and reflective.

Previously, I had tried to find other activities to become involved with, but n Nothing has ever satisfied me as much as theater. I fell away from this pursuit, and writing was my gateway back into theater. As I began to write, I realized there were other aspects of theater to explore such as acting and directing.

Through acting, I was able to improve my writing ability. Before acting, my writing was mostly plot-driven, based on the Poetics of Aristotle. Acting revealed to me a whole new school of thought . As an actor, I ...

This is pretty great!! I hope that idea helps.

Thank you, Kevin. Your recommendations were a great help.