It is just one paragraph from my common app essay. He's and him's in this paragraph will be specified in the final essay.
Meanwhile, he also emphasized the importance of studying and its purpose. In his another short essay, he says, "Read a book; don't be read by a book." By this pithy statement, he meant that people should reflect on the author's message while reading a book, or they would simply waste time, not reading but being read. Further reflecting on his maxim (exactly as he said!), I realized that the process of studying had been so stressful for me because I did not truly read the books; I had been trying to "dismantle" them for getting high grades in school, the reflection of my greed. Thankfully, he helped me to realize that I must study in order to improve myself morally and intellectually, not to satisfy the extrinsic motivations.
I have a problem with the last sentence--can you "satisfy" the extrinsic motivation?? I cant think of an appropriate word there...
and please give me any other advice/corrections as needed. They are very welcomed.
Meanwhile, he also emphasized the importance of studying and its purpose. In his another short essay, he says, "Read a book; don't be read by a book." By this pithy statement, he meant that people should reflect on the author's message while reading a book, or they would simply waste time, not reading but being read. Further reflecting on his maxim (exactly as he said!), I realized that the process of studying had been so stressful for me because I did not truly read the books; I had been trying to "dismantle" them for getting high grades in school, the reflection of my greed. Thankfully, he helped me to realize that I must study in order to improve myself morally and intellectually, not to satisfy the extrinsic motivations.
I have a problem with the last sentence--can you "satisfy" the extrinsic motivation?? I cant think of an appropriate word there...
and please give me any other advice/corrections as needed. They are very welcomed.