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My 16-inch World. Personal Statement - HKUST - Undergraduate Program in Computer Science



techsavvy576 1 / -  
Oct 18, 2021   #1
Please rate it on 10. Would it be enough? Tell me what can I add in it to make it more impressive.

Personal Statement


My 16-inch World

I am not what destiny has chosen me for, but what I have chosen me for.
My story evolved from being an inept personality to an avid-ardent identity. Born into a family of multi-cultured parents, I am a fusion of varied traditions. To be more specific, my mother is from Southern India, from whom I inhibited the quality of selflessness and persistence. My father from Northern India, and corporate environment, fetched my special interest in computers and leading the team.

I was fortunate enough to have a computer at the age of 8. While other kids were hopping on the street playing hop-scotch, I was bouncing from one page to another on internet. This is where it all started, I was engrossed with the 16-inch screen most of the time. No games, no activities & no friends. I used to be in my room all the time, after I returned back from school. My parents thought I had some Social Anxiety Disorder, but they didn't know I was busy learning a new language in my 16-inch world. With Java in trend at the time, I was learning C++ basics from a website called learn cpp. It was my summer break, when I created my first basic game PONG game using C++. It was a big achievement for me. I continued learning it, isolated from my friends and family.

It was same until the summers of 2015; this incident altered the course of my life. My father, a charming and social person, was hit hard by stress & depression. He was traumatized and due to abnormal behaviour was admitted into an asylum for 14-days treatment. Post treatment, he was fine and was getting back on track. But this hit me the other way, from being isolated in a room, I took care of the house, my sister and consoled my mom. Be it from cooking food, getting groceries or handling my school work; I matured at a very tender age. I was away from my 16-inch world for months; I could not get back to learn the language in the time. This incident produced a new version of myself.

When & where did I gain back my interest in my 16-inch world?

It was the end of my summer break, when our school collaborated with SOF (leading Olympiad conducting body). We were introduced to Science, Maths, Cyber & English Olympiad. Eager for an event to spark my ash-interest, I took part in the Cyber Olympiad. I was back in my world, bouncing from one page to other, looking for all the important stuffs for the exam. The preparation was good, paper was moderate, summing up it went well for the first-time participant. I was back on my academics to score good in the finals.

It was one cold morning of January, amid the assembly, I was invited on the stage for an award called "Zonal Excellence Award". Shocked me, took seconds to understand what was happening until I was called again. I stood up and walked up the stage to receive it. Seeing my fellows cheering for me, I was overwhelmed by the appreciation. I received the award for achieving Rank 4th in the entire state. This event took me back to my 16-inch world again, but for ever this time.

With time being passed, I actively took part in the events and competition held inside and outside the school. The reward, was the thing which kept me motivating to get going. Our school was not a classy school with many clubs & contests held now and then, but with my interest for computers & specifically developing web pages never ceased. Inspired by my classmate, I and my small team of 3 approached our Principal Ma'am with a small proposal to launch a CS Club in school, helping juniors with ICT problems and hosting small inter-house hackathons. To my surprise, we were denied at first for being immature to launch it. But with our constant approach and sheer passion for the club, we were allotted to launch our club in the campus, after 3 denials in a year.

It was a great pride for my team to be the Founder of the leading club of the school for 2 years; until I left the school in Grade 10, to find more exposure to my subject. But the world was struggling with a very indifferent event of the century. And, maybe God has something else for me.

My 16-inch world, which made me curious to find my career in computer world, left me in the pandemic. With no physical classes, and everything virtual, I was introduced with a 14-inch world. The world which I am grateful to for bringing a universal change in my personality and goal. I got to know about Digital Marketing and Business. I invested my time in learning a new area, skipped my online classes to dive deep into it. As a result, I was able to build an Influencer Marketing Agency with my friend. With my deep interest in web development, I framed the backbone of the platform used my 9-years' experience to craft an excellent model, as they say (my colleagues). New to LinkedIn, I got to know about HKUST.

With the wider range of courses offered & especially intensive research environment of the campus, left no other reason for me to look for other university to pursue my interest in Computer Science. After deep research, I was fascinated by the interdisciplinary courses combining CS & Management, let me put a step ahead to draft my application to the esteemed institution. I believe not only my interest in the field, but a working-cum-entrepreneurship experience has boosted my interest in HKUST, to work in the financial capital. With a 14-inch world in my lap, and coming more worlds in future, still I am obligated to my 16-inch world.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Oct 19, 2021   #2
Do not confuse the personal statement with your autobiography. The reference to your parents are out of place and often removes the focus of your personal statement from the development of your interest in coding and computer science. The personal statement for HKUST should be targeted in nature. It is going to be sent to a reviewer who is only interested in the academic side of your personality. You have the option to edit and revise the current version. It won't be difficult to delete the references to your parents. It won't affect the continuity of the essay. In fact, it will become smoother. Tweaks to certain paragraphs will also help better the discussion. Be sure to better expand on the reasons why you opted to study the major at the university. Do not use a general statement as you have done in the current last paragraph.


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