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Indonesian student in SANTA CLARA UNIVERSITY: CommonApp Questions



jlskinner2 1 / -  
Aug 17, 2015   #1
Please help read/edit! Thank you :)

1. Briefly describe how you learned about Santa Clara University. (150 words maximum)

Personally, location and environment is highly significant, and may possibly act as a determining factor for deciding on a university. This is how I came across Santa Clara University. When narrowing my search down to institutions in the California region, SCU intrigued me with its' highly beneficial and convenient location for career opportunities since the Silicon Valley is the heart of incredible, world-known corporations. Furthermore, as a student of an international school who grew up in Indonesia - a country consisting of approximately three hundred ethnic groups - I want to remain associating with a diverse community, which is an additional element that assisted in my discovery of SCU. Browsing through the university website, I further learnt of SCU's excellent business program and exciting student life. SCU fulfilled all my wants in a university - academics, location, social life, and diversity - exciting me to embrace my potential new home.

2. Santa Clara University's strategic vision promises to educate citizens and leaders of competence, conscience, and compassion and cultivate knowledge and faith to build a more humane, just, and sustainable world. What aspect of SCU's strategic vision appeals to you? Why? (between 150 - 300 words)

If an Indonesian is able to read, write, and speak English, it is probable that they are not experiencing the disparity of poverty. The divergence between the poor and the rich in Indonesia, my home nation, is sadly monumental, paralleling to the separation of those living in third-world countries and those in first-world nations. The highly evident economic gap in Indonesia can be simplified to a single primary difference between the two social classes; education. Although the Indonesian school programme has immensely improved, currently standing as the world's fourth largest education system, the local youth continues to be at a disadvantage in regards to quality because of their social status. I believe that the key for a decline in poverty in Indonesia is a supreme education for not only the well-off districts, but for the entire population, which is why SCU's vision to educate citizens and leaders is what appeals to me. An increase in education, primarily for those living in poorer areas that are not receiving the schooling needed, will eventually lead to an increase in success, wealth, and employment in the nation. During my time in Santa Clara University, I plan to expand my knowledge in the Leavey School of Business with a single goal in mind; to ultimately return back to Indonesia and help enrich the educational quality of the local citizens. With my experience from SCU, I hope to achieve a low level of poverty in Indonesia by assisting in providing the locals a more international schooling that will help enhance their knowledge on a global-scale.

eegii012 5 / 7  
Aug 17, 2015   #2
Congratulations! written with proficiency and confidence. I haven't recognized anything more than minor errors in flow and clarity, throughout the descriptions. Hope you to succeed in admission
justivy03 - / 2265  
Aug 19, 2015   #3
Proof reading;

1. Briefly describe how you learned about Santa Clara University. (150 words maximum)
- I want to remain associatingassociated with a diverse community,
- which is an additional element that assisted incompleted my discovery of SCU.
-...and diversity - excitingit excites me to embrace my potential new home.

2. Santa Clara University's strategic vision promises to educate citizens and leaders of competence, conscience, and compassion and cultivate knowledge and faith to build a more humane, just, and sustainable world. What aspect of SCU's strategic vision appeals to you? Why? (between 150 - 300 words)

- ...and speak English, it is probablethere is a probability that they..
- ...difference between the two social classes; education "education" and ???, because you said two social classes) .
- ...at a disadvantage inwith regards to the quality because of their social status.
- I believe that the key for a decline in poverty in Indonesia is a supreme education
- for not only for the well-off districts,

Basic and minor remarks only.


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