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"The influence of my dad" - Essay on someone that influenced me



zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 17, 2010   #1
Hi everyone. This is the my first draft of the topic :"someone that influenced me". I know i am not a good writer! I hope you can help me to make this essay work! I appreciate all of your helps! Thank you!

----/// -------///--------------/// ------//////------------------------//////------------------

... "Are you studying? "
- "Umm, not really. I am writing an essay for application."
- "What is it about?"
- "It is about a person who has a significant impact on me"
- "Have you chosen someone yet?"
- "Yes. I've already had one. It's you, Daddy" ...

Nearly nineteen years is a long enough time for me to realize the significant influence my dad has had on me. He is not only a successful man, but also a dad with many respected characteristics, who is a model for his children. Being nurtured by and living with him, I have learned many of those characteristics and developed some of his interests which also become my interests now. Because of him, I am the person of who I am today.

My childhood was full of my dad's stories told by my grandmother whenever she came to visit us on summer. They were the stories of how my dad had to start working from the very young age since my grandparents were very poor, of how he transplanted and harvested rice for rich families to earn some money to buy book and of how he spent every single second of his free time on studying. Thanks to his effort, my dad was the only person of ... to pass the university entrance exam and sent to Bulgaria for college because of his high scores. For a little girl like me, at that time, these stories just brought me the feeling of being proud of my dad. As time goes by, I realize that these stories are indeed valuable lessons of nonstop trying for me. Thanks to my dad, I now have more opportunities than he did before; if I do not strive to get my goals, I would feel very embarrassed to him. Furthermore, these stories also nurtured in me a wish - the wish of having the ability to provide my parents a happy life when they get older because without their continuous effort, I would never have a good life like I do today. For making it come true, I know I will have to try harder.

The influence my dad has not only on my thought and my characteristic but also on my interest. Since he is very interested in Math, I was familiar with math since I was a little girl. My dad was the one who built up the passion of Math on me. When I was at primary school, my mom used to work all day and just came back home after 8 p.m; therefore, I spent most of my times with dad who returned from work at 5 p.m. After finishing all the house works and cooking dinner, we started studying Math together in the garden in front of my parent's bedroom. I was brought to the world of logic, numbers and inquisition by many interesting "Children Mathematics" magazine's Math exercises which did not require me to work much with number but to reason to find out the solutions. The reward for each of my correct solution without dad's supporting was a big bag of Milk Cow candy. But there were also times that I did not receive any candy bag for months. It has been several years from these nights do I realize that what I have learned are not only many interesting math exercises but also the independence and logical thought in solving any of my own problems.

.. Knock, knock, knock
- Come in!
- Hey girl, staying up late is not good for your health! You could be less beautiful!
- Ok, I know daddy! Don't stay up late, too!
Turning off the light, I am back to my lovely bed. Three meters from my room, in my parent's bedroom, my dad is still working. At this moment, I feel love and respected for my dad more than ever. Tomorrow is coming and there will be another challenge for me. And I will continue to strive, strive for myself and for the biggest Milk Cow candy bag for my effort: the ability to bring my parent a happy

sweetheart87 11 / 31  
Nov 17, 2010   #2
"Are you studying? "
- "Umm, not really. I am writing an essay for application."
- "What is it about?"
- "It is about a person who has a significant impact on me"
- "Have you chosen someone yet?"
- "Yes. I've already had one. It's you, Daddy" ...

Nearly nineteen years is anlong enough time for me to realize the significant influence that my dad has had on me.
He is not only a successful man, but also a dad with many respected characteristics, who is a model for his children.
Growing up with him I have gained many of those characteristics and developed some of his interests, which also become my interests now.
Because ofThanks to him, I am the person of who I am today.I am what I am today.

My childhood was fullrich inof my dad's stories that was told me by my grandmother, whenever she came to visit us on summer.

The stories told about my dad, how and why he started to work in very young age.
My grandparents were very poor. Thus, my dad transplanted and harvested rice for rich families to earn enough money to buy books and when he had a bit of leisure time he liked to study.


Thanks to his effort, my dad was the only person of ... to pass the university entrance exam and sent to Bulgaria for college because of his high scores.

For a little girla toddler like me, at that time, these stories just made me feel proud of my dad.

I hope that I helped you.
I'm going to correct the last part tomorrow.
OP zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 17, 2010   #3
Hi Ilaria,

Thank you for your help. It is really helpful for me! I am waiting for your help for my last part! I really appreciate your help!

Ah, i want to add some information about my essay! :(

Firstly, the conclusion is lack of the last word "life" after the word "happy" ---> the ability to bring my parent a happy life.

Secondly, my dad was the only person of ... to pass the university , the blank here is the information that i want to confirm again with my dad, so i leave it blank!
sweetheart87 11 / 31  
Nov 18, 2010   #4
As time goes by, I realize that these stories are indeed valuable lessons of nonstop trying for me.
(what did you mean with "lessons of nonstop trying for me?")

Thanks to my dad, I now have more opportunities than he did before; if I do not strive to get my goals, I would feel very embarrassed to him.

Furthermore, these stories also nurtured in me a wish - the wish of having the ability to provide my parents a happy life when they get older. because without their continuous effort,

I would never have a good life like I do today without their continuous effort.
For making it come true, I know I will have to trywork harder.

The influence my dad has not only on my thought and my characteristic but also on my interest.
My dad has not influenced only my thought and my characteristic, but also my interests.

Since he is was] very interested in Math, I was familiar with math since I was a little girl.
My dad was the one who built up the passion of Math on me
.
My dad was very interested in Math and during the years he conveyed his passion on me.

When I was at primary school, my mom used to work all day and just came back home after 8 p.m; therefore, I spent most of my times with dad who returned from work at 5 p.m.

After finishing all the house works and cooking dinner, we started studying Math together in the garden in front of my parent's bedroom. I was brought to the world of logic, numbers and inquisition by many interesting "Children Mathematics" magazine's Math exercises which did not require me to work much with number but to reason to find out the solutions.

The reward for each of my correct solution without dad's supporting was a big bag of Milk Cow candy.
My reward for each correct solution - without dad's help - was a big bag of Milk Cow candy.

But there were also times that I did not receive any candy bag for months. It has been several years from these nights do I realize that what I have learned are not only many interesting math exercises but also the independence and logical thought in solving any of my own problems.

Unavoidably, there were also times that I did not receive these for several months.
It has been many years ago and now I realize what I have learned, not only many interesting math exercises but most of all logical thought for solving any of my own problems.


- Knock, knock, knock
- Come in!
- Hey girl, (staying) (I don't know if it is correct!) up late is not good for your health! You could be less beautiful!
- Ok, I know daddy! Don't stay up late, too!

Turning off the light, I am back to my lovely bed.
Three meters from my room, in my parent's bedroom, my dad is still working.
At this moment, I feel love and respected for my dad more than ever.
Tomorrow is coming and there will be another challenge for me and I will continue to strive, strive for myself and for the biggest Milk Cow candy bag for my effort: the ability to bring my parent a cherry life.

:))))
OP zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 18, 2010   #5
Hi Ilaria, thank you so much for your grammar correction. They are really helpful! UHmmm, what do you think about my idea as a whole?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 26, 2010   #6
I like your idea, but I think you should condense it so that this discussion requires only 50% of the sentences. That way you can leave room for the other important part of the essay: what YOU have become as a result. This essay is not supposed to be just about your dad. It is supposed to be mostly about you.

So, I think you should add at least one paragraph all about your aspirations, and show how they are inspired by him.

The influence my dad has My dad's influence affects not only on my thought and my characteristic but also on my interest.

:-)
OP zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 26, 2010   #7
i deeply truly appreciate your help! Thanks a lot, Kevin! I will rewrite my essay and i hope you could help me once again! :D

P/s: I wonder how you could read and fix tons of essays everyday! :d I really admire you! :D


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