Influence, location mission, why - My Syracuse University Supplement

Can anyone look over my Syracuse University Supplement, that I have 2 hours to submit in two hours? Please
Please answer the following questions in several sentences:
1. Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?
Choosing a college is one of the most important decisions I will make in my lifetime. I wanted a school that was convenient to me in different aspects and had a great academics . In my high school, Syracuse is one of the top schools students' desire to get into. I heard nothing but good things about Syracuse University. Over the past year, I conducted research on a possible future major of geography. At first I did not know if Syracuse had my major so, I had my doubts. When I found out that Syracuse has a geography major, I knew I had to apply to this university. Syracuse has a great school sprint and I feel I can be a fit there.

2. If you have had paid work experience, what skills and/or knowledge did you gain?
One of the profound experiences I ever had when I worked at the American Museum of National History. I worked as a volunteer in two of the museum's offices. During my time there, I completed various tasks . Those tasks gave me responsibilities, that I never had the opportunity to had before. I exceeded at those tasks and my bosses was deeply impress. I was so proud of myself because, this job prove to me that I can exceed in the workforce. Also the job gave me the lesson that I grew up. I learned a lot about myself and will always take those lessons with me.

3. Our mission of Scholarship in Action extends beyond the classroom to include engagement opportunities with our campus community, the City
of Syracuse, and locations across the globe. Based on your academic interests, tell us what real world experiences you might pursue during your
education at Syracuse University as part of this mission.
As mentioned in the second response, volunteering was a great experience for me. I will like to continue volunteering when I meet to Syracuse University. Syracuse has many volunteering opportunities, that I could picture myself doing. As a geography major, I will have to learn about different culture's and regions; Syracuse will allow me study those topics. Interacting with the community and helping the community is truly what I am about as a person. Scholarship in Action will give me a real world education, that will help me pursue my dreams.

i applied to syracuse too! here are my suggestions:

Syracuse has a great school sprint and I feel I can be a fit there. you meant spirit right? and say something like "i think/know i will fit in well there."i would also state a couple more reasons why you applied if you have any

One of the most profound experiences I ever had was when I worked at the American Museum of National History.

During my time there, I completed various tasks. what were some of those tasks? elaborate some

Those tasks gave me responsibilities, that I never had the opportunity to had before no comma and replace the second had with have

I exceeded at those tasks and my bosses was deeply impress. either say boss was or bosses wereand changed impress to impressed

I was so proud of myself because no comma this job proved to me that I can exceed in the workforce. Also the job gave me the lesson that I grew up. <---??? confusing- do you mean it helped you grow? I learned a lot about myself and will always take those lessons with me. i would say more about what skills you learned from the job and be specific

As mentioned in the second response, volunteering was a great experience for me. Syracuse has many volunteering opportunities so I willwould like to continue volunteering when I meet toif I attend Syracuse University. Syracuse has many volunteering opportunities, that I could picture myself doing . As a geography major, I will have to learn about different cultures and regions; Syracuse will allow me study those topics. Interacting with the community and helping the community is truly what I am about as a person. Scholarship in Action will give me a real world education, that will help me pursue my dreams.

i think this whole paragraphs needs work. you didn't really talk about what real world experiences you will carry out except for volunteering (and i would be a little more specific with the volunteering). give more examples of what you will do on campus, around the campus, or around the world to help with your education.

hope that helps!! you're on the right track! just work on them a little bit more

Yeah - makes those corrections (theres quite a lot). But after you clean it up, should be fine.