Diana Linkenauger has been, by far, my most influential teacher. Our initial meeting was in the first grade, where she served as my homeroom teacher. She fueled within me a desire to learn by teaching with enthusiasm and challenging me to go beyond my comfort zone. When I moved up into second grade, Ms. Linkenauger became the computer teacher - and while playing a lesser role in direct education, she still managed to find the time to assist me with any problems I had, be they scholarly or not. This educator continued in her role through my promotion to fourth grade, when she became the visions director, in charge of enlarging the viewpoints of the "gifted" students. In this capacity, she developed my skills in arithmetic, reading comprehension, and logic. Ms. Linkenauger prepared me for middle school, and later, for high school, setting me on the path to academic success, which I plan to continue in the coming years.
Honestly, I feel that the choice of an elementary school teacher, especially one with such a tenuous link to you, isn't the strongest basis for this essay. My thing is that the teacher really only saw you in school, as you described it, and she developed your basic skills; these are seemingly things that any teacher at your school could have done. Are there any middle or high school teachers that have influenced you that might be a better choice for this essay? Also, speaking just about the essay structure itself, I feel the ending is slightly awkward; it gives the impression of incompleteness, and sounds like you spent a small amount of time on this essay. Again, just my opinion, you should definitely get other opinions on this piece.
Thanks for the input. I also felt the ending needed something.
I agree with ga717. if you have time to fix, I recommend finding a high school teacher, if not, I want you to elaborate more how this teacher has influenced "you."
good luck!
Yeah I agree with the above you should try to find a HS teacher. Also I don't like the first sentence. You should never just regurgitate the prompt. Respond to it in you own words. I also felt as if I learned more about the teacher than I learned about you. I think admissions officers want to get to know you and they are indirectly asking about you in the prompt. How has the teacher influenced YOU?
