For the UC application I must answer 4 of the predetermined 8 questions in 200-350 words. I don't know if this counts as an essay but I need help.
Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few.
Describe how you express your creative side.
Most people picture a cobblestone city and a quaint cafe when they think of a place that brings inspiration. But, for every summer of my childhood, the very place that made me most creative was a town in the middle of the Sonoran desert, with no library, no cinema, nothing: Caborca, my parents' childhood home.
I hated it.
I hated it so much that every chance I got, I'd plan my clever escape. Except my plan for freedom wasn't a speedy ride home. Instead, just two things: a notebook and a pen. In such a small town with very little to do, I craved the impossible: tragic jungle princesses, shape shifting dragons, gates to other dimensions.
My boredom was cured, for a moment. By age fourteen, I craved new stories. I read novels, comics, watched movies to discover where stories really came from.
It wasn't until I came back to Caborca that I caught myself listening to family gossip. My uncle running off to his internet wife in Guatemala. My sixty year-old aunt's dream to have a quinceanera. My grandma hiding as train luggage because her parents couldn't pay the ticket...
Where I longed to escape to impossible realms, now had all I wanted. Stories. And so many of them! This vast narrative all unearthed once I decided to pay attention. I started writing again. In ninth grade I participated and won second place in a regional writing competition in Mexico, with a short story about a young boy who defines himself by the legends his small town preserves.
Through high school, my creative writing professor Joel Flores taught me how to transform the abundant stories around me, reminding me that I could weave fantasy into realism.
He showed me every novel made a promise: to answer 'the question'. Why was there no cinema in Caborca? Why would my aunt want a quinceanera after so long? I approach new people and experiences with questions. I want to know their stories.
Storytelling is no longer a medium I only use to escape boredom. Now, it's the way I connect with others.
@ashymustard
Welcome! We can work through this one. Hopefully, this feedback gives you insight on your writing.
Firstly, I'd like to mention that you are doing an incredible job with this. The writing was fluid, enabling the readers to comprehend better the structure of your writing. You also had a no-fuss approach to essay writing. This makes it easier for the readers to digest whatever you are reading.
The first paragraph is decent already. You can retain this portion. What I do suggest, however, is making a more concise approach to the second chunk of the text (or, at least, the middle portion of the text). While it was great that you had these chunks of text altogether, it would not be beneficial for you to have unnecessary repetitions, especially because you are working with a small word count. Because of these limitations to your word count, I would recommend focusing more adding more critical information rather than over explaining.
While I think that the lack of proper construction of structured paragraphs was primarily due to the creative outburst that you had, you should still attempt to piece together everything with as much concreteness as possible. Doing this would help the readers focus more on the content rather than on the manner that you had written the text.
@Maria
Thank you Maria. I assume by repitition you mean the lines "I hated it. I hated it so much..."
I really enjoyed describing the stories I came up with in childhood, but I agree that it doesn't work in showing how I express my creativity.
By 'content', do you think I should include more about the Creative Writing class I took, the contest I participated in, or should I talk more about my family?
Thank you again for your feedback.
