'intellectual stimulation' - Bowdoin College Supplement

In an effort to understand your interests and aspirations for college, we ask you to select one of the three topics below and provide a response of up to 250 words. Please include your name, birth date, and your topic choice at the top of the page.

Bowdoin students and alumni often cite world-class faculty and opportunities for intellectual engagement, the College's commitment to the Common Good, and the special quality of life on the coast of Maine as important aspects of the Bowdoin experience. Reflecting on your own interests and experiences, please comment on one of the following:

1. Intellectual engagement
2. The Common Good
3. Connection to place

I chose to comment on intellectual engagement.

I have an obsession, or rather an addiction, to intellectual stimulation that has been prevalent in different forms since my early youth. This obsession began in the form of a video game addiction. Each night, immediately after dinner, I would line up several stools to prop myself upon in order to spend hours studying the computer screen as my brother played the strategy-based video game, "Starcraft." I was fascinated by my brother's intricate solutions to challenging in-game problems in order to win battles, and each night I attentively observed so that I could learn and play as successfully as him. The adaptive problem-solving and collaborative skills, and unique creativity required for success in the game forced the boundaries of my mind to expand.

Although my childhood addiction to video games eventually subsided, I was able to connect the problem-solving skills I developed from games to the real world in order to feed my perpetual curiosity. My 10th grade AP World History teacher helped me discover my hunger for cognitive stimulation, which subsequently gave me access to deeper thought. She constantly challenged our young minds by immersing us in controversial discussion, and forced us to ask questions until we began to genuinely wonder and desire knowledge beyond the classroom. This craving for academic intellectual engagement she helped me find coupled with the problem-solving skills I learned to value from video games shaped my main goal in life: to pursue answers.

Watch run on sentences. Your clincher could be stronger if it was a little clearer. Your hook would be much more powerful if you ended it after "intellectual stimulation." Otherwise it's a good idea!

I have an updated version:

I have an obsession, or rather an addiction, to intellectual stimulation. This obsession began in the form of a video game addiction in my early youth. Each night, immediately after dinner when I was eight, I would line up several stools to stretch out on in order to study the computer screen as my brother maneuvered through the strategy-based video game, "Starcraft." My brother's intricate solutions to challenging in-game problems in order to win battles fascinated me, and each night I memorized each move so that I could learn and be as masterful as he was. The adaptive problem-solving, collaborative skills, and unique creativity required for mastery in the game forced my mind to expand.

Although my childhood addiction to video games eventually subsided, I was able to connect the problem-solving skills I developed from games to the real world in order to feed my perpetual curiosity. My 10th grade AP World History teacher helped me discover my hunger for cognitive stimulation, which subsequently gave me access to deeper thought. She constantly challenged our young minds by immersing us in controversial discussion, and forcing us to ask questions until we began to crave knowledge beyond what we grasped in class. This craving for intellectual engagement she helped me find coupled with the problem-solving skills I learned to value from video games clarified my main goal in life: to pursue answers.

" gave me access to deeper thought" - That sounds awkward. You might want to reword it because "access" doesn't fit well.

The ending feels a bit rushed, personally. I would try easing into the last sentence so it doesn't seem so haphazard.

Please look at my UPenn essay as well. It's my first draft and not very good. I only spend like 30 mins on it because I couldn't think of much to write about.