What is your intended major? Biotech

What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field - such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities - and what you have gained from your involvement.

***(500word essay)

i am not a good writer.. this what i come up so far. with my major i haven't had any volunteer work, internships and employment, particaption in student organization and activities.

any comments etc is fine.. i need to improve this personal statement as much as i can.. thanks to all in advance for checking it out THANK YOU =)

Curiosity drives me to details and questions come to mind of how a plant can grow to have vegetables from a flower. Seemed like a flower died and underneath the flower, it had transform to the squash. I need to understand why it does, and how it does it. Every day I looked at the planet, it grew a little bit taller and had grown tendrils which help itself to support and grow all over the fence. I noticed the leaves look a bit strange, they did not look like the way they use to be. Bugs was eating the leaves, it made the leaves look dull and odd shaped like a puzzle piece.

I asked my grandfather what we should do to save the leaves. He told me we can spray some bug spray to prevent the pests from eating it. I was wondering to myself, this will be harmful if we eat the vegetables after it has been contaminated with bug spray? He said its ok; we just need to clean it good with water later when we eat it. I felt it was not safe to eat it since it had chemicals sprayed on top of it.

A new way biotechnology has done to solve the bug problem, is to modify the bugs like Tribolium Canstaneum(red flour beetle) is a type of bug that lives in a pile of flour and it multiples in the environment found. These are deviating bugs that destroy a lot farmer's flour because of infestation of these bugs. Luckily, in recent research, scientist learned to manipulate Tribolium Castaneum to set boundaries on the genes of making its chitin exoskeleton shell. By taking out one of the beetle's enzyme, "chitin deacetylase" property, the beetle will be vulnerable to its living conditions. Because if you removed the "chitin deacetlyase" property it may not function how it use to which the bug will not survive that well in its natural conditions.

Also, there is another way, to get rid of the bugs instead of using chemicals, and manipulating bugs At the present time, genetic modifying crops can help prevent bugs from eating the plants by making the plant produce chemicals that affect the bugs but not affect humans consuming. By modifying the plants, it will not get attack by bugs. Also we can give the crops ability to have certain amount of vitamins and nutrients at a higher percent than regular crops.

My intended major is biotechnology; I want to help society and developing countries who have environment challenges that prevent them from growing certain types of crops. By doing so, the developing countries will have less starvation and able to agriculture their own foods without the bug issue and relying other countries to import the vegetables. The amount of money used to import vegetables can be used on research and development instead.

Many farmers have this issue and they use a lot of pesticides to get rid of pests that destroy a lot of crop that people can eat instead of wasting. In October 1996, World Health Organization Expert Consultation on Biotechnology and Food Safety says,"The benefits of biotechnology are many and include providing resistance to crop pests to improve production and reduce chemical pesticide usage, thereby making major improvements in both food quality and nutrition." I believe in this quote that it will be possible one day and it will benefit the whole world and be able to make more grow more food. Biotechnology is the key to unlock the challenges we have in life and the improvements for a better tomorrow.

You have a place in the first paragraph where you switch tenses:
grandfather would go to the backyard to check on his mini crops grown in the backyard.

Also, you need to write "short" meal.

I would help him plant some vegetables and watch them grow during the spring season and before it was winter, the plants were browning and limping. I was fascinated on how fast these plants grow, I wondered if I watered it more, would it have grown faster?

But you know what? I think you should make this the second paragraph instead of the first. It is best if you answer their question directly in the first paragraph.

You do not write enough about biotechnology! I think you shoud write about it at the start, then write only one paragraph about the crops and your grandfather, and then write another paragraph.

What should the new para be about? You should read 3 articles about the most recent work being done by people in this field. Write a paragraph about some very modern research.

I love the conclusion paragraph, you seem so serious and smart! Please write more about biotechnology. Maybe you should mention the names of teachers at this school that you would like to have as your science professors.

thanks for looking kevin.. i modified it a bit and let me know what you guys think..

I took a class in Botany once and learned more than I wished to about plants, including all the hormones (auxin, gibberellin, etc.) which regulate different aspects of growth. I also learned how farmers promote fruit ripening and delay it -- how they cause fruits to drop from trees faster than they normally would by spraying them with the correct formulation of chemicals.

Anyway, genetic engineering can increase crop yields and make staples (rice, wheat) that hundreds of millions of hungry people rely on, more nutritious. Pest control is a fairly narrow area to focus on compared to all the functions of biotechnology. Maybe it would be better to comment briefly on the benefits it has to offer.

The essay is terribly insipid in format and delivery.

Seemed like a flower died and underneath the flower, it had transform to the squash.----> This sentence needs a subject.

When the flower seems to have died , underneath the flower, the material had transformed into squash.

Well... this kind of essay is always a little insipid, because when we write about ourselves we have to talk... well... all about ourselves. I think you could add interest by finding artful, clever ways to rewrite the first sentence of each paragraph. Try to write each first sentence with a drumming rhythm.

I believe in this quote; I believe that it will be possible one day to benefit the whole world by finding efficient ways to grow more food.