Hello all.
I joined this forum primarily to receive feedback on my college essay, which is of particular significance due to the nature of my high-school transcript. I consider myself to be a highly intelligent individual; however, I performed very poorly for the first two years of my high school career, which occurred for a variety of reasons including the type of people I hung out with, my conduct in the class, organizational skills, etcetera. I managed to make a decent comeback in junior-year, and am making even more progress presently, in my senior year, where I am taking two advanced-placement classes and receiving A's in both. Having said that, my current GPA is a 1.5 and My SAT scores are as follows:
490 MATH
700 READING
610 WRITING
My main interests, of which will be brought to light to a certain extent in the start of my essay, are philosophy and literature. The kind of feedback I want is mainly from experienced writers who can critique my writing style and hopefully help make improvements here and there, and also from people who have experience or can give me valuable knowledge about college admissions; for I am placing a lot of weight on this essay, and want it to be absolutely impeccable in order for me to get into my college of choice, William Paterson University.
Anyway, without further interruption. Here is the question and the essay:
The preferred application essay topic for all majors is: "How did you learn about William Paterson University? Why are you interested in attending William Paterson University?" Please note that this is not a required topic; rather, it is the suggested essay topic. If you have something about which you are passionate, the admissions committee would love to hear about it!
I was initially attracted to William Paterson University because of, in addition to its conspicuous presence in my hometown, Wayne, NJ, feedback from friends and family members who attended the university and testified to the quality of the faculty and education there. In my opinion, they are living examples of the great things that can be accomplished with a degree from this well-regarded institution. Not without reason, then, did I venture to research about the university in more detail, gathering information on their academic departments and the experience for a college student. What I found profoundly piqued my interest. Upon these findings I decided where I would like to undertake my studies: in the confines of the campus where I would be most happy, most enriched, most empowered to pursue my passions of literature and philosophy: William Paterson University.
Literature, my first passion, is predominantly due to my desire for self-expression; that is, to express what is inside of me and be clear and eloquent in doing so. What is inside of me, however, is still inexplicable and adolescent in nature, and needs refinement through further study of literature. Realizing this a while back, I thus endeavored to read and study authors whose works have intrigued me the most, which have by and large been George Orwell, Franz Kafka, and Fyodor Dostoevsky. Of late I have read Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov, an author I have developed a particular reverence towards because of his, in my opinion, impeccable grasp on the English language and inimitable ability to enchant his readers with sheer verbosity. It is the prose of brilliant authors such as Nabokov that compels me to have a fresh paper handy so I can take note of its strengths and weaknesses to the purpose of improving my own-such is the work of this desire for self-expression; such is also my constant quest for clarity.
I joined this forum primarily to receive feedback on my college essay, which is of particular significance due to the nature of my high-school transcript. I consider myself to be a highly intelligent individual; however, I performed very poorly for the first two years of my high school career, which occurred for a variety of reasons including the type of people I hung out with, my conduct in the class, organizational skills, etcetera. I managed to make a decent comeback in junior-year, and am making even more progress presently, in my senior year, where I am taking two advanced-placement classes and receiving A's in both. Having said that, my current GPA is a 1.5 and My SAT scores are as follows:
490 MATH
700 READING
610 WRITING
My main interests, of which will be brought to light to a certain extent in the start of my essay, are philosophy and literature. The kind of feedback I want is mainly from experienced writers who can critique my writing style and hopefully help make improvements here and there, and also from people who have experience or can give me valuable knowledge about college admissions; for I am placing a lot of weight on this essay, and want it to be absolutely impeccable in order for me to get into my college of choice, William Paterson University.
Anyway, without further interruption. Here is the question and the essay:
The preferred application essay topic for all majors is: "How did you learn about William Paterson University? Why are you interested in attending William Paterson University?" Please note that this is not a required topic; rather, it is the suggested essay topic. If you have something about which you are passionate, the admissions committee would love to hear about it!
I was initially attracted to William Paterson University because of, in addition to its conspicuous presence in my hometown, Wayne, NJ, feedback from friends and family members who attended the university and testified to the quality of the faculty and education there. In my opinion, they are living examples of the great things that can be accomplished with a degree from this well-regarded institution. Not without reason, then, did I venture to research about the university in more detail, gathering information on their academic departments and the experience for a college student. What I found profoundly piqued my interest. Upon these findings I decided where I would like to undertake my studies: in the confines of the campus where I would be most happy, most enriched, most empowered to pursue my passions of literature and philosophy: William Paterson University.
Literature, my first passion, is predominantly due to my desire for self-expression; that is, to express what is inside of me and be clear and eloquent in doing so. What is inside of me, however, is still inexplicable and adolescent in nature, and needs refinement through further study of literature. Realizing this a while back, I thus endeavored to read and study authors whose works have intrigued me the most, which have by and large been George Orwell, Franz Kafka, and Fyodor Dostoevsky. Of late I have read Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov, an author I have developed a particular reverence towards because of his, in my opinion, impeccable grasp on the English language and inimitable ability to enchant his readers with sheer verbosity. It is the prose of brilliant authors such as Nabokov that compels me to have a fresh paper handy so I can take note of its strengths and weaknesses to the purpose of improving my own-such is the work of this desire for self-expression; such is also my constant quest for clarity.
