Please have a look on my essay and give me some comments. And probably there are some grammatical problems.
I can still have space. Where should I improve?
Any comments is appreciated. I will help you back!
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the college of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (maximum of 500 words)
My love of mathematics and statistics is in my genes.
I always have great performances in mathematics, but it was when I was in 9th grade that my view on maths transformed. As an assistant of our maths teacher, I not only kept outstanding grades but also helped improving the grades of the whole class. I remember the lunch-time meetings when I gathered maths-lovers together designing the quizs; the moments while I was standing on the platform explaining my creative methods of difficult problems were still in my mind. To introduce harder knowledge in quizs, first I had to learn higher math course by myself. The involvement to the teaching not only shaped me into a confident speaker but also motivated me to explore a vaster maths world outside the textbooks. These challenging jobs cultivated my good habits to learn deeper and challenge myself.
And then, my first research study experience enriched my concept of maths. I was assigned a group project to study people's money management plan. After stepping out of my comfort zone, I successfully collect 57 questionnaires, but they were not enough for the project. Some other groups counterfeited questionnaires to meet the requirement, but our group didn't follow them. It urged me to respect the fact. The figures should objectively show the fact rather than false impression.
Statistical analysis was the soul of this project. After we carefully recorded and rigorously analyzed the figures, we could easily focus on the phenomenom hiden behind the random figures. The various diagrams clearly showed us the general status and inspired us the future development. The statistics analysis helped me reveal the current status and even foresee the future trends. Essentially, maths is not just for solving the problems in the tests, but for settling down the practical problems; the results are not just dull numbers but like notes that form beautiful molody. Therefore, I want to learn more about statistics, not to be a test-terminator, but to be a solver of practical problems in life, a witness of present conditions, and a predictor of future tendencies. (Do I need to add more specific details about the project?Anything incoherent?)
Cornell University's rigorous academic atmosphere and reputation as an ideal place to get better educational oppotunities attract me to apply for the college of arts and sciences in Cornell. Its systematically academic porgrams can promote my knowledge of both computational skills and statistics knowledge. The undergraduate research program will strongly enrich my experience that cannot be absorbed from textbooks. I can also get guidence and inspiration to further develop my potential when Cornell's career service helps me set up goals and plans for future career. Moreover, I not only want to but also hope to contribute to the academic atmosphere by enhancing academic vitality in the university with my creativeness and rigor.
I can still have space. Where should I improve?
Any comments is appreciated. I will help you back!
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the college of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (maximum of 500 words)
My love of mathematics and statistics is in my genes.
I always have great performances in mathematics, but it was when I was in 9th grade that my view on maths transformed. As an assistant of our maths teacher, I not only kept outstanding grades but also helped improving the grades of the whole class. I remember the lunch-time meetings when I gathered maths-lovers together designing the quizs; the moments while I was standing on the platform explaining my creative methods of difficult problems were still in my mind. To introduce harder knowledge in quizs, first I had to learn higher math course by myself. The involvement to the teaching not only shaped me into a confident speaker but also motivated me to explore a vaster maths world outside the textbooks. These challenging jobs cultivated my good habits to learn deeper and challenge myself.
And then, my first research study experience enriched my concept of maths. I was assigned a group project to study people's money management plan. After stepping out of my comfort zone, I successfully collect 57 questionnaires, but they were not enough for the project. Some other groups counterfeited questionnaires to meet the requirement, but our group didn't follow them. It urged me to respect the fact. The figures should objectively show the fact rather than false impression.
Statistical analysis was the soul of this project. After we carefully recorded and rigorously analyzed the figures, we could easily focus on the phenomenom hiden behind the random figures. The various diagrams clearly showed us the general status and inspired us the future development. The statistics analysis helped me reveal the current status and even foresee the future trends. Essentially, maths is not just for solving the problems in the tests, but for settling down the practical problems; the results are not just dull numbers but like notes that form beautiful molody. Therefore, I want to learn more about statistics, not to be a test-terminator, but to be a solver of practical problems in life, a witness of present conditions, and a predictor of future tendencies. (Do I need to add more specific details about the project?Anything incoherent?)
Cornell University's rigorous academic atmosphere and reputation as an ideal place to get better educational oppotunities attract me to apply for the college of arts and sciences in Cornell. Its systematically academic porgrams can promote my knowledge of both computational skills and statistics knowledge. The undergraduate research program will strongly enrich my experience that cannot be absorbed from textbooks. I can also get guidence and inspiration to further develop my potential when Cornell's career service helps me set up goals and plans for future career. Moreover, I not only want to but also hope to contribute to the academic atmosphere by enhancing academic vitality in the university with my creativeness and rigor.