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"Being an international student" - RC Prompt



erinhcho 6 / 17  
Nov 26, 2009   #1
i want you guys to give me suggestions and advices
i need to apply this essay before next week..
thank you very much!

Write an optional personal statement. We are interested in learning more about you as a person beyond your grades and test scores.

Being an international student has been a very precious experience in my life. There are many hardships if you are not familiar with that country you live in. I still have many problems and conflicts even though I have been living in the United States for three years. However, there are always people who help me and take care of me when I have a difficult time. Having relationship with great and helpful people has been lucky. I especially appreciate my parents, and am most thankful to them. They are valuable advisors because they supported me to study aboard so I can see the world with open eyes. They always respect my opinion and future. I certainly can believe they are always my supporters in my entire life.

When I moved to Virginia from Korea, I felt I had come to a new world. This area has many differences from my home country. Since my homeland is not a multicultural country, it is rare to have relationship with foreigners. At first, I was afraid to communicate with people in English, even though I had visited the United States before. My friends in school and church helped me to improve my English skills and understand the American culture. Eventually, I realized it is really interesting to meet a diversity of people in a new place. From that time on, my future was planned, and I was sure that I wanted to be a part of a vibrant community.

I have learned several foreign languages since I was three years old. My mom taught me the English alphabet before I was able to talk, and I had an English tutor from kindergarten on. However, I realized the best way to learn a language is to live in that language's country. At the beginning of pre-school, I started to learn Chinese, and I took Japanese classes in middle school. I began having an interest in foreign cultures. After I took Spanish, I started to develop a curiosity about the culture of South America. Also, Spanish helped me to understand the English language and learn more vocabulary. I have a talent for learning in languages, and I am thankful to the people who helped me to discover this talent. I want to use my talent while traveling through the world. I plan to major in pre-med, but I will continue in languages to improve my language skills.

Sometimes, I imagine myself to be a pharmacist making medicines for patients. I see their smiling faces after they get better through my medicine. I want to live in the world where there are no diseases and illnesses. I am ready to learn about medicine in my future and help people around the world. I hope people can achieve happiness through my help.

linmark 2 / 325  
Nov 27, 2009   #2
It's a good personal statement, you sound very dedicated and your writing flows easily. English is not really my first language either but here's some little re-sequencing for you to consider:

I still have many problems and conflicts even though I have been living in the United States for three years.There are many hardships if you are not familiar with that country you live in .

I'VE BEEN LUCKY TO HAVE Having relationships with great and helpful people has been lucky . I especially appreciate my parentS, and am most thankful to themThey are AS valuable advisors, because They always HAVE respect FOR my opinion and future, SUPPORTING supported me to study aboard so I can TO see the world with open eyes.

I certainly can believe they are WILL always BE my supporters in my entire life.

Since my homeland is not a multicultural countr y, it is rare to have ANY relationship with foreigners.

From that time on, my future was planned, and I was sure that I wanted to be a part of a vibrant community IN THE FUTURE.

learning in languages

I want to use my talent while traveling through the world. I plan to major in pre-med, but I will continue in languages to improve my language skills AND USE THIS TALENT WHILE TRAVELLING AROUND THE WORLD.

get better through my medicine PRESCRIPTIONS.


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