Hi! Could anyone take the time to revise this essay? Aside from grammatical errors, I would like to know if the overall picture is decent. Thank you!
Carnegie Mellon is esteemed as one of the top engineering universities in the nation, and I would be incredibly honored to be part of such a magnificent institute. This is the perfect place for me to pursue my major as a computer engineer.
Ever since middle school, I have been intrigued by the complexities of computer hardware; the "guts" of a computer. I've always wondered just what lay inside a computer's metallic casing, and the moment I opened the case I was shocked to see all the lights and humming inside. It was like peering into a tiny world- there were lights flickering to indicate hard drive activity, fans spinning to blow heat away, and whirring from old parts scraping against metal. How could all these parts work together jointly to operate such a powerful machine? Upon further scrutiny, I noticed that there were little lines that ran along the motherboard that resembled little roads. Capacitors, resistors, and transformers that were raised above the motherboard looked like buildings and skyscrapers. I was in awe. I wanted to live in this tiny, almost unrealistic world. I wanted to make this place more efficient, more powerful, and more convenient.
While progressing from year to year, I've noticed how the sizes of computer began to shrink: from the monstrous grey behemoths that filled up entire rooms to the net-book and tablets that dwarf in size to past computers. It has been my dream since then to try to figure out how to reduce the size of the modern computer in order for convenience, all the while increasing the power. Through the years in high school, after learning about circuitry in physics and gaining expertise in math with the hardest Calculus classes my school has to offer, I've been able to gather more knowledge about just how to pursue my dream. I knew that engineers all over the world were succeeding in bringing the form factor of the computer down while improving their performance-and I wanted to be a part of this.
Being in a prestigious yet condensed engineering school, I can be sure to focus more on hands-on research in my field, something that I won't have a privilege of doing at a large engineering school. This size also allows me the option of true interdisciplinary research, which would broaden my perspectives and allow for a greater learning experience for the me, something that I look forward to. The college of engineering has also earned a reputation of "innovation through collaboration." A diverse collection of people can offer solutions far more appreciable than can one group, and these refined solutions present a myriad of opportunities for innovation and at the Center for Circuit & Systems Solutions research center, I'll have get the chance to cultivate my dream for developing "big things in small packages."
Last but definitely not least, Carnegie Mellon has a diverse student body, which is quintessential to the my holistic learning. By acquainting myself with a diverse environment, I can expect to receive many different inputs based on culture, ethnicity, and identities. Bringing us closer would foster a sense of unity that engineers and individuals alike must achieve in order to achieve greatness.
With all these opportunities in mind, I can expect to achieve greatness here are Carnegie Mellon, which, without doubt, is my university of choice. I can begin to work on the awe-inspiring world that I discovered years ago, and truly immerse myself in this wonderful environment.
Carnegie Mellon is esteemed as one of the top engineering universities in the nation, and I would be incredibly honored to be part of such a magnificent institute. This is the perfect place for me to pursue my major as a computer engineer.
Ever since middle school, I have been intrigued by the complexities of computer hardware; the "guts" of a computer. I've always wondered just what lay inside a computer's metallic casing, and the moment I opened the case I was shocked to see all the lights and humming inside. It was like peering into a tiny world- there were lights flickering to indicate hard drive activity, fans spinning to blow heat away, and whirring from old parts scraping against metal. How could all these parts work together jointly to operate such a powerful machine? Upon further scrutiny, I noticed that there were little lines that ran along the motherboard that resembled little roads. Capacitors, resistors, and transformers that were raised above the motherboard looked like buildings and skyscrapers. I was in awe. I wanted to live in this tiny, almost unrealistic world. I wanted to make this place more efficient, more powerful, and more convenient.
While progressing from year to year, I've noticed how the sizes of computer began to shrink: from the monstrous grey behemoths that filled up entire rooms to the net-book and tablets that dwarf in size to past computers. It has been my dream since then to try to figure out how to reduce the size of the modern computer in order for convenience, all the while increasing the power. Through the years in high school, after learning about circuitry in physics and gaining expertise in math with the hardest Calculus classes my school has to offer, I've been able to gather more knowledge about just how to pursue my dream. I knew that engineers all over the world were succeeding in bringing the form factor of the computer down while improving their performance-and I wanted to be a part of this.
Being in a prestigious yet condensed engineering school, I can be sure to focus more on hands-on research in my field, something that I won't have a privilege of doing at a large engineering school. This size also allows me the option of true interdisciplinary research, which would broaden my perspectives and allow for a greater learning experience for the me, something that I look forward to. The college of engineering has also earned a reputation of "innovation through collaboration." A diverse collection of people can offer solutions far more appreciable than can one group, and these refined solutions present a myriad of opportunities for innovation and at the Center for Circuit & Systems Solutions research center, I'll have get the chance to cultivate my dream for developing "big things in small packages."
Last but definitely not least, Carnegie Mellon has a diverse student body, which is quintessential to the my holistic learning. By acquainting myself with a diverse environment, I can expect to receive many different inputs based on culture, ethnicity, and identities. Bringing us closer would foster a sense of unity that engineers and individuals alike must achieve in order to achieve greatness.
With all these opportunities in mind, I can expect to achieve greatness here are Carnegie Mellon, which, without doubt, is my university of choice. I can begin to work on the awe-inspiring world that I discovered years ago, and truly immerse myself in this wonderful environment.