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Introduce Yourself to Penn - TaCo Nickname


tcohen 1 / 24  
Dec 21, 2011   #1
Penn. Our aim is to better understand how your identity, talents, and background guide your day-to-day experiences.

TaCo. That's my nickname. Sure, it's a cute abbreviation of Ta(lia) Co(hen). But come on, who wants to be called a Mexican food dish?

Well, I do. Growing up at a Jewish school, Talia was one of the most popular names. It's pretty, it's meaning is beautiful, and to those who weren't raised Jewish, it's original. However, when I am one of five Talias in a class of fewer than 100, the name can be frustrating. Soon, I stopped turning around. Sure, it could be me, but the chances were just 1/5. Plus, I knew that if it was indeed me then my friends would say "Talia! T-A-L-I-A C-O-H-E-N."

Then, one fateful day, the ingenuity of my nickname, TaCo, was discovered. Soon, I was no longer one Talia in the crowd. Rather, I was the distinctive TaCo.

My name helped me realize, it is okay to stand out. I use to feel that my talents were only for my own benefit. I didn't want to brag or seem conceited. However, with the discovering of TaCo I have started to display my strengths on a regular basis. I have volunteered for numerous musical performances and have enthusiastically offered to read my creative writing in class.

Who new that some meat and a shell would be the source of a new me?

ZhoeK 5 / 173  
Dec 21, 2011   #2
Outstanding essay!

Every thing was tied together beautifully and it was very sincere.

Just a few grammar fixes:

with the discoveringdiscovery of TaCo

Who k new that some meat and a shell would be the source of a new me?

Hope this helps!
If you wouldn't mind could you take a look at my essays.
MichaelJ 1 / 7  
Dec 21, 2011   #3
Great essay! It was very light hearted, something that I think will amuse the admission officers. This essay is a PERFECT response to the question and shows great creativity on your behalf. I could not find any grammatical errors, other than the ones stated above. With all honesty, it's an awesome essay, and I'm sure it will play a huge role in your admission =).
aijw824 1 / 12  
Dec 21, 2011   #4
Then, one fateful day, the ingenuity of my nickname, TaCo, was discovered. [A little confusion on how it was discovered, I'm guessing that it's not the important info here, but maybe try to reword it to be more subtle so readers won't wonder about it] Soon, I was no longer one Talia in the crowd. Rather, I was the distinctive TaCo.

My name helped me realize that it is okay to stand out. I use to feel that my talents were only for my own benefit. I didn't want to brag or seem conceited.[idk if that's really necessary, it's a question of tone though, so it's up to you]] However, with discovering of TaCo I have started to display my strengths on a regular basis. I have volunteered for numerous musical performances and have enthusiastically offered to read my creative writing in class.

Clever topic.

Good lucks.
cherrybomb94 20 / 44  
Dec 21, 2011   #5
"I used to feel that my talents were only for my own benefit. I didn't want to brag or seem conceited. However, with the discovering of TaCo I have started to display my strengths on a regular basis. I have volunteered for numerous musical performances and have enthusiastically offered to read my creative writing in class."

This part does not really fit in well with the rest of your essay; you should try to incorporate it better by using some sort of transition. But other than that, this is a really quirky, fun essay. :)
retrospectrum - / 5  
Dec 22, 2011   #6
TALIA

I LOVE YOUR ESSAY

BUT THERES SOMETHING U NEEDA KNOW:

One of Penn's requirements for this essay is that it should be APPROXIMATELY 150 WORDS

right now, i believe yours is 220 words, and i feel that being above the word limit by so much may actually hurt your application as admissions officers always look for brevity. i know this might come off as a huge buzzkill, but for college apps, word limits are placed for a reason

i hope i've helped a bit. this is really a great essay, and i think if u can cut it down to about 160 or 170, it would be ok, as long as you don't lose the ESSENCE of your piece
OP tcohen 1 / 24  
Dec 22, 2011   #7
thanks for all the advice!

Levin -- do you really thing the word limit is a big issue?
retrospectrum - / 5  
Dec 22, 2011   #8
I think colleges look for students that are concise and follow guidelines, so i think 70 words over the limit is quite a lot, considering it only asks for 150 to start off with.

Then again, it is a short essay, so i don't think they'll necessarily hold a grudge against you for being over, esp. since your essay is a fun read. also, considering it's an optional essay, penn admissions may not take the word count that seriously. It might be best to consult some other people, like your counsellor, and see what they think.
OP tcohen 1 / 24  
Dec 22, 2011   #9
I got it down to 180! Thanks for getting me to cut it down!


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