Okay, as with everyone else I'm attempting to improve on my ~*Issue of Importance*~ essay topic. I'm going to be using it for my UT application (and perhaps another college application, but I may use my other essay), but I think I'll get that auto acceptance thing because I should graduate in the top ten percent of my class. I still wouldn't like for it to look horrible, though. So I was wondering if you guys can help tweak a few things.
I think it's corny and writing isn't one of my strong points. But anyway,
I used to avoid mirrors like a plague. Without fail I would always see my relatively normal-looking face and be reminded of all the imperfections and flaws in my skin and features. Billboards, ads, and commercials would constantly display perfect, airbrushed women going about their daily lives like nothing could phase their beauty, and I was envious. No, I was not being bitter, but as with plenty of young and impressionable girls my age, I also wanted to look perfect. But who should we look perfect for? In this generation, women are constantly judged and approval from others has become more important than approval of self. That is an issue we need to address more often in mainstream media.
The same advertising strategy has not varied to a large extent throughout the past few decades: show happy and attractive people endorsing X product while looking like their lives has been improved tenfold because of said product. What has changed, however, is the growing amount of people who view and can become easily influenced by those ads, conscious or not. A child is not going to see a commercial thinking, "If I use that shampoo, I'll be able to snag a hot guy." On the other hand, they may unconsciously come to the conclusion that they need that shampoo to have gorgeous hair or for guys to notice them. Irrational as it may seem, a sufficient amount of girls tend to think that way.
We are at a period of time where teenage girls are trying to live up to the expectations the media presents. Everywhere we look are photos of models with unrealistic beauty and almost nowhere is the reassurance that you do not have to be flawless to be beautiful. Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty, although rumors state the 'real women' models have been touched up to some degree, is a start in allowing women to accept themselves for who they are. It creates awareness that it is all right to have imperfections or unique aspects to your physical self, because confidence will allow your "real beauty" to shine through.
In fact, that campaign and the blogs I have read on their website, as well as some help from others along the way, has helped me realize the destructive thought pattern I was experiencing every time I saw my reflection. I am at a healthy weight, yet I wanted to be skinnier. My face looks fine, yet I wanted to change many aspects of it. As I came to appreciate what my genes bestowed upon me and substituted my thinking so my only need of approval should come from myself, I became more comfortable with my appearance and worried less about looking good for others. Some are not so lucky, and I see my peers falling victim to it every day: needing full make-up even if they are taking a quick trip to the store, going on diets to satisfy the "ideal" look, and always putting themselves down because they do not look "pretty enough."
Sometimes we cannot escape the image society has put on women today, but reassurance and approval can be the most powerful way to trigger those influenced into being more comfortable with their body. Until the media's general opinion on what is considered beautiful shifts, we need to support each other and give acceptance, one of the greatest gifts possible.
"In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful." Alice Walker
I'm not too fond of the last paragraph and I don't know if the quote fits the context of the paper... but it's been hard to do a conclusion. Essays give me nightmares. Thanks for any help!
Oops. I just realized how I messed up the indentations.
I couldn't think of a way to reiterate what I discussed without sounding too redundant, but I'm going to spend the last few hours taking a stab at that again. I do like that quote too, and now I'm determined to use it. Advertising strategy, hmm... I didn't think I wrote my essay about that, but now I see it. Sheesh, I need to pay attention more ha ha. Thanks!
What has changed, however, is the growing number of people who view and can become easily influenced by those ads, conscious or not.
We are at a period of time where teenage girls are... How about "these days", or "we live in a time..."
Sometimes we cannot escape the image society has put on women today,
but reassurance and approval can be the most powerful way to trigger those influenced into being more comfortable with their bodies.
Good advise from xjba, that will bring it full circle.
:)
You could strengthen your essay by going into a bit more detail about just how destructive this trend is. At the moment, your description of the trend is a bit bland, but the trend can be really devastating, leading to increased incidents of anorexia and bulimia, both of which can reach the point of being physically harmful or even life-threatening to those who are afflicted by them. Also, Dove's campaign aside, the trend is worsening, with psychological disorders such as the ones previously mentioned becoming more common, not only among young women but also among teenage boys (though they are still far more likely to affect the former). You could also mention that this problem is part of a larger trend of unrealistic portrayals of life in Hollywood shows. For instance, romantic relationships tend to end faster now because people expect love to be the way it is in movies, and are psychologically unprepared for the sorts of compromises and negotiations that characterize real relationships.
