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Jesus's words & actions/ My strengths & weaknesses/ Canisius College - Type of LEADER



Don95 1 / -  
Jan 3, 2013   #1
This is an essay for the All-College Honors Program for Canisius College. Please, give me some feedback before I submit this. Thanks.

What kind of leader do you aspire to be and how will you achieve this goal?

My religion teacher once asked our religion class, what are the characteristics of a good leader? The answers from the class were obvious; a leader needs to show empathy, honesty, trustworthy, unselfishness, teamwork etc. He then asked how we plan to achieve these goals. No one answered. We all knew the qualities of a good leader, but we lacked the ability to become an excellent leader. What was the solution? According to my religion teacher, the answer was to follow Jesus. Jesus was an example of a perfect leader. Through my personal trial and tribulations, I agreed with my teacher. Few traits of Jesus were that he was a loving and unselfish. These are the two main qualities of a leader that I seek. To be this kind of leader, I must be able to follow the words and actions of Jesus.

Jesus was an extremely loving leader. An example of this was Peter when cut off the ear of Malchus and Jesus said, "Put up thy sword into the sheath." (John 18:11). Jesus, without any anger, healed Malchus' ear, in spite of the fact that Malchus was one of the participants in the arrest of Jesus. Jesus showed his love and compassion towards everyone, regardless of what they have done. This is one type of quality that I as a leader wish to possess; a loving and compassionate leader who treats everyone equally, without any condescendence. By following Jesus, I can achieve this trait. I will have to learn to put my ego aside and love everyone human person equally regardless of my personal opinion.

In addition, Jesus held the characteristic of being selfless. The perfect example where Jesus showed his selflessness was when he died on the cross. Jesus was crucified on the cross and died for our sins. This is another trait that I deeply desire to obtain. I can learn and follow the unselfish actions of Jesus. To do this, I must be able to act unselfish by thinking about others before myself and help those in need

I am currently on the correct path to achieving the status of this leadership. I am currently working with a special needs girl named Caroline. It is a volunteer job at my local library. This job has helped me understand the real characteristics of myself. The more I continue this job, the more I discover both my strengths and weaknesses. By knowing my strengths and weaknesses, I have a better understanding of what to work on. There are many traits that are required to become a good leader. Personally, I look up to Jesus for these traits. I believe that Jesus' words and actions hold the answer to what a leader should be. By entering both Canisius College and its Honor Program, it enhances both the understanding of me and my religion to ultimately become a humble and wonderful leader like Jesus.

carolynxpark 2 / 3  
Jan 4, 2013   #2
There's a parallel problem here:

The answers from the class were obvious; a leader needs to show empathy, honesty, trustworthy , unselfishness, teamwork etc.

trustworthy is an adjective while all the other words are nouns. You should change it to trustworthiness or another word to make the sentence parallel.

Pronoun problem here:
but we lacked the ability to become an excellent leader.

There is more than one person referred here. Therefore, it should be "become leaders"

Jesus showed his love and compassion towards everyone, regardless of what they hav e done.

should be had

I really like how you used Jesus as your role model, but connected it to a more personal level than the generic way.
Good job.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jan 9, 2013   #3
a leader needs to show empathy, honesty, trustworthy, unselfishness, teamwork etc.

....'' trustworthiness '' , "team spirit"
You have touched mostly the common humane traits of a good person. There is no doubt that a good leader should have most of these. However, there are many other leadership qualities that one need in leading a team; He should be visionary; should be a good negotiator; effective communicator; catalyst; etc. etc.

Here I feel you have not spoken much about what type of leader you wish to be in your way to achieve your goal. Have the focus on you!


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