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My journey of independence and family bonds Essay (Personal statement)

ccbubblegirl 1 / -  
Sep 7, 2023   #1

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success.

Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

When my mother told me she'd be leaving Port of Spain and moving back to Guyana, I wasn't surprised, things were hard enough in Trinidad as is and she didn't exactly have a stable income to support me and my brother. I knew things would be easier if she left, but my sixteen year old selfish brain couldn't understand why she couldn't see that things would be significantly harder for me when she left.

I wanted to drop everything and pack all my bags and go with her and my brother, but I knew she would never allow it. Growing up in a low income neighborhood, my mother never missed an opportunity to teach us the value of education especially as we were dark skinned. I knew that no amount of salty tears would change her mind and I'd have to stay and graduate highschool.

So that's how I found myself living with my aunt and uncle and my six cousins. Living with such a big family was foreign to me, I was always accustomed to my own privacy, I had my own room with my own bed, and there was never a line for the bathroom, i never had to fight for the last bag of chips, or for who was going to get to use tv that night. At first I was frustrated at the big adjustment that I had to make and I wanted to call my mom and tell her to buy the earliest one way ticket she could get, but I knew I couldn't. Sometimes loneliness would force the tears out of my eyes, sure I know my mother was only a phone call away but I couldn't find comfort over low quality whatsapp video calls knew I needed to be strong and make the best of my situation.

As examinations approached, I realized that I couldn't afford to focus on the negatives of my situation. Surprisingly enough, when i changed my thinking from complaining to being optimistic, things didn't were not as grey as I painted them out to be and after a while, I realized that sharing a bedroom with my cousins wasn't so bad, getting up at 6 am before anyone else woke up provided me with moments of peace where I would get time to be myself and study without any distractions. I felt myself feeling less lonely as soon as my cousins and I began to get much closer as we'd laugh at my uncle's loud snores when he collapsed on the couch after a hard day of work. There would be times where we'd argue over who left the empty orange juice box in the fridge but we'd settle all our arguments over a quick round of Fortnite or Call of Duty. Eventually, I felt myself looking forward to the days where I'd help my aunty prepare lunch, I'd cut the garlic, thyme and shadow Beni and blend up all the green seasoning for her curry chicken while she'd wash the white rice and ramble about the shocking twist at the end of the Kdrama she watched. It made me feel more at home when I helped out with the chores, having responsibilities kept my mind busy and helped calm

me when I felt distressed, and the accomplishment of a completed task, regardless of difficulty, always filled me with pride and joy .

Before I knew it, the months had flown by and it was August once more and it was time for me to leave. I will always be grateful for my aunt and uncle who took me when my family was in need. I could not believe the level of maturity I gained while being apart from my mom, I was no longer the little girl who relied on her mommy for everything. I was now an independent young adult who felt like she could tackle anything thrown her way. I realized that I am responsible for my own life, and that although I may not be able to control the situations, environments, and people that life throws at me, I can control my decisions and how I react to the change around me. With my new enlightened perspective, I know I'll be ok.

Any feedback would be much appreciated, also i am 59 words over the word limit.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,249 4651  
Sep 24, 2023   #2
The essay does not really show how you overcame an obstacle. It comes across more as you just complaining about how your life had to change when your mother left you with family members. The premise upon which you claim to have matured as an individual is shallow. The reviewer will not see the content of this essay as any sort of obstacle. You may want to rethink the presentation you are using and the backgrounder it is based on. You need to use a more effective obstacle. One that actually has an insurmountable effect upon your development as a person, rather than one that simply tells the reviewer that you are a mama's child. That does not do much to impress him.

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