Prompt: Some student have a background or story that is so central to their Identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I am sorry I feel like a total noob when it comes to this, any help will be appreciated thank you so much for taking the time :) Thank You!
Ever since I was young I had the thirst for knowledge, I wanted to excel in everything that revolved around school. The youngest of seven, I learned that family would be everything. My family would teach me math at a young age, and teach me how to read and write. At age seven I received my first computer from my older brother.
The computer is what sparked my brain to learn even more and at a faster pace. I had knowledge on my fingertips, the internet was an amazing world. When I was eight I got into trouble because I got a test from a locked system ahead of time. I did this through figuring out what system the elementary school had and it was an original testing corporation, I figured a way to log in and sign in to it. Some say computers and life does not mix because it is time consuming, but the truth is I find my peace when I am on my computer doing my work.
As the years passed and life moved on computers have become a bigger priority in not only my life but societies as well. When I look I always see computer, phones, and tablets all over. In sixth grade I decided computer science is the major I want. I not only want a major but I want a PH.D in computer science.
I have done my preparation since then by taking the rigorous courses such as Calculus, Biology, Chemistry, and Literature. I do not find the joy of passing or sliding through school, what I strive for is the challenge in life. The challenge will lie ahead of me and I am ready for it.
Coming into college intrigues me a lot. Why? Because it is a joy to be in school, and to further my education and to see how my life will play out.
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Aaron, you are approaching the essay from the wrong angle. When you are asked to discuss a central identity essay, the admissions officer is giving you an opportunity to present a side of your personality that was not covered in the other common app essays. In this case, he or she wants to get to know who you are beyond the classroom. Who do you think you are and how do you understand yourself to be? That is the theme of the central identity essay. Think of a very important event in your life that helped you realize something that makes you unique or opened your eyes to the understanding of something relating to who you are. One of those themes will work best for these types of essays.
Your current essay does not work because it does not address the prompt requirements in the proper manner. You are discussing why you love to go to school instead of presenting the reasons why going to school is central to the development of your identity. You can still use this essay if you want to. It will just have to be revised in order to better address the essay question.
Thank you so much! I am rewriting now and will try to figure this out haha. I do not know how personal to get in this essay, can you help?
Get as personal as you can get Aaron. That means, open yourself up to the analysis and scrutiny of the admissions officer who is a complete stranger to you. However, you don't need to be too personal or open in the essay. If you feel uncomfortable discussing some specifics, gloss over it. Just mention it but don't delve any deeper into it than you feel comfortable doing so. Be open to a certain degree without placing yourself in a corner or uncomfortable position. Share what you are comfortable sharing and withhold any information that you feel uncomfortable discussing. If I review the essay and I believe it is necessary to add some information, we can discuss spinning the content so that you don't have to totally reveal information that makes you uncomfortable :-)
I really want to thank you for the help, I do not know you and it is amazing how much some people really help out other people. I really do thank you for everything!
This is where I am at so far what do you think?
For some reason as you can tell I am having a hard time writing and focusing at the task at hand.
Cheers, Aaron.
Life goes beyond school and books, it is something that is truly amazing. As a student for twelve years I have come to accept that school is only a bit of time in our life, but it's outside of school that defines who you are. Of course some will say I am an A-plus student and an over joyed student, but my life goes beyond those expectations of school. I have hobbies and family.
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Can you discuss more about the theater and why you feel it has become central to the development of your identity? You are actually on the right track. It is just that the essay can use more development. The one paragraph that stood out for me at the moment is the one about the theater. Develop that within a paragraph or two and then try to develop the rest of the essay to help support the statements you made about the theater being central to your development. Why did you say that? Can you give examples of how it helped you develop as a person? Let's see what kind of information we can share there that will help answer the prompt without giving away too much about you :)
Thank you so much! Your comments have helped me considerably! With your help and others it went great!
What do you think? Not too personal but personal to the touch :-)
It is astounding how life can go beyond school and books. As a student of twelve years I have come to accept that school is only a bit of time in our life, and it is outside of school that defines who we are. Of course some will say I am an A-plus student and an outgoing person, but my life goes beyond those expectations set in school. My life revolves around theatre and the family I have created within it.
I am different than most students in my school. I have been a part of drama for over four years, and it is where I find my peace. Peace is where the heart lies, and my heart is in theatre. I choose it because it allows lets me to let go of what is happening in my everyday life. Theatre allows me to step onto stage and become a person with a different persona every time.
Being apart of a program for a long time creates a culture and a family. My story began my freshman year when I walked inside the audition room and the nerves took over me; I was getting considerably scared. When I look around, it is my fellow peers assisting me and letting me know how the process should look like, and it was at that moment when I knew that we were a family. Our drama motto to follow is the show must go on. The following year our director passed away with cancer and my drama family was torn. I knew that at that point that we can only grow, that I must grow. During the following show, I took the reins to let the new director have space, and to fulfill our motto. By being a leader, I was able to lead a department to a show at its best. In the end I understood that we must grow at times of despair and I blossomed. I was able to stand loud and proud on that stage with my new family members.
My personal ended off like yours did, completely different than my first rough draft, but change is good! I really like the last version that you posted up. It definitely answers the question in a better manner than your first one. I feel like you can substitute some other words in for "loud and proud" though, that would be my only suggestion.
Perfect thank you so much Jazmin! I will definitely change before monday, my deadline is Dec 1 haha. :-).
