'some kind of medical career' - Umich admission essay LSA: career

I would appreciate any feedback thank you

College of Literature, Science, and the Arts (LSA): What led you to choose the area(s) of academic interest that you have listed in your application to the University of Michigan? If you are undecided, what areas are you most interested in, and why?

Since my sophomore year in high school I have been looking into pursuing some kind of medical career. So far my primary career choice is to become a doctor but I am still unsure. I have always had a fascination with the human body and how to treat certain injuries and illnesses. Sophomore year I took a sports medicine class and got even more interested in the body. I paid attention to everything the sports trainer did to treat injuries and began practicing those treatments myself. I got very good at diagnosing certain injuries and especially good at taping ankles. While taking this class I considered a career as a sports trainer but that soon changed once I began speaking to local physicians. I soon learned that my physician was a specialist in sports injuries. He told me about how he could do everything the sports trainer could do plus more. I soon gained more interest in pursuing a medical career.

What I love the most about pursuing a career as a physician is the fact that I would make a difference in society. I asked myself "when someone gets sick, who do they go to?" I could be the doctor that makes that person feel better. The fact that I could help others with my career makes it that much more appealing. I also know that if I pursued a medical career at the University of Michigan I would receive the best education possible to prepare me for medical school.

The content is fine. You need to work on your style, though. Mostly, you need to revise with a view to doing the following two things:

1. Use stronger verbs.

2. Vary your sentence structures.

At the moment, the weak verbs and monotonous sentence structures make your essay too dull to read for an admissions essay. Revise and repost.

"So far my primary career choice is to become a doctor but I am still unsure."

It's not a choice if you're still unsure.
Your essay reads like tick-tock, tick-tock ... I'd implement Sean's advice. It would do you good to add a design to the essay -- vary your sentence structure, pace, etc.

"What I love the most about pursuing a career as a physician is the fact that I would make a difference in society. I asked myself "when someone gets sick, who do they go to?" I could be the doctor that makes that person feel better. The fact that I could help others with my career makes it that much more appealing. I also know that if I pursued a medical career at the University of Michigan I would receive the best education possible to prepare me for medical school."

A few quick notes:

Medical school is intensely competitive, so my advice is to get it together soon on what you want to do. There's no room for indecision.

You're not yet pursuing a medical career. Everyone uses that motivating precept that they want to help people because they're so altruistic. Consequently, it's somewhat of a joke now to cite that as your reason for wanting to become a doctor, unless you are intelligent enough to eschew a bulletin point template and show something different, something intriguing. Does Michigan really offer the best education for people looking at medical school in their future?

Try use different kinds of sentences.

Too much "I ..."

Can you give me tips on how to change my sentence structure?