Hello! I've just finished my draft on UC prompt 2. I will really appreciate any critiques, suggestions or corrections that can improve it. Thanks to everyone who reads and comments on my essay!!
PROMPT 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I knew before leaving high school, I had to fill a void that just wouldn't leave. I had all the grades, my friends, I was that shy quiet girl, sensitive to the outside forces, but unbeknownst to others, I knew I had to do something out worldly, something that would get me out of this comfort zone I've always had for years. Running cross country brought out my persevering nature. In my senior year, I decided to bite the bullet and join the team. My discovery of infinite possibilities let me chase my crazy high school dreams.
I became one of the top cross-country runners for our high school girl's varsity team. I beat out the others who've had more experience and training I never obtained over the coming weeks compared to their triumphant years, though without a doubt I had the feelings of giving up right then and there during my very first grueling race because of the insecurities that kept playing out all throughout my head "What the heck did I get myself into! What was I even thinking?" I found myself in an unknown territory with the sceneries always changing, fighting against my own battle that seemed unbearable, that I did not think I'd overcome. I felt like I was going to collapse when it came to that 5th hill over this 3+ mile race. My brain kept etching in me that I was the last person.
I didn't want stop, not until I finished this, not until I can prove to myself that I can do it, I had to keep telling myself that, I had to keep on going till I hit that finish line and once I did, it was the greatest conquering feelings of all, the pain didn't even matter, and soon after that, what surprised me the most was that I had this crazy rush of excitement of doing it all over again right then and there. Cross country is about endurance and heart, it's not about who can reach the finish the fastest, it's about who can endure the longest and my coach says I can't give up, it hurts it's like you're getting tortured, yet it's my own self that has to push myself around. No one can do that for me, but me only.
That's when I finally did it; I went out of my comfort zone. I ran like I had never run before. I submissively kicked it into my highest gear, figuring I'd give it all I had until I gassed out somewhere behind the crowd. Strangely, though, I found a stride I never knew existed. My legs began churning effortlessly gaining speed at every muscle motion; I couldn't even feel them, and it seemed like my upper body was just going along for the ride on some mysterious power train below. There was no pain, no labored breathing, just the sensation of gliding across the trail at high speed. It was exhilarating!
Running cross country was a chance for me to get closer to who I was besides this sensitive side I've always had. It was a chance to explore and experiment with that other side of me I'd never knew existed. My experiences were not limited to races, but extended far beyond into a community where I felt encouraged to excel in every aspect of my life. There are very few things in life that really catch people off guard. Mines were exactly this. Never did I think I could put myself through the gruel, hardest things and love it all equally the same. Never did I imagine in a million years of my own reactions, my own strengths, my own will, and my own determination of what I got from this personal challenge I gave onto myself.
I am aware of the tougher times ahead, but I am readily prepared and willing to face the challenges head-on. I sincerely hope and would be extremely grateful to be given the chance to persevere in every aspect given to me.
PROMPT 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I knew before leaving high school, I had to fill a void that just wouldn't leave. I had all the grades, my friends, I was that shy quiet girl, sensitive to the outside forces, but unbeknownst to others, I knew I had to do something out worldly, something that would get me out of this comfort zone I've always had for years. Running cross country brought out my persevering nature. In my senior year, I decided to bite the bullet and join the team. My discovery of infinite possibilities let me chase my crazy high school dreams.
I became one of the top cross-country runners for our high school girl's varsity team. I beat out the others who've had more experience and training I never obtained over the coming weeks compared to their triumphant years, though without a doubt I had the feelings of giving up right then and there during my very first grueling race because of the insecurities that kept playing out all throughout my head "What the heck did I get myself into! What was I even thinking?" I found myself in an unknown territory with the sceneries always changing, fighting against my own battle that seemed unbearable, that I did not think I'd overcome. I felt like I was going to collapse when it came to that 5th hill over this 3+ mile race. My brain kept etching in me that I was the last person.
I didn't want stop, not until I finished this, not until I can prove to myself that I can do it, I had to keep telling myself that, I had to keep on going till I hit that finish line and once I did, it was the greatest conquering feelings of all, the pain didn't even matter, and soon after that, what surprised me the most was that I had this crazy rush of excitement of doing it all over again right then and there. Cross country is about endurance and heart, it's not about who can reach the finish the fastest, it's about who can endure the longest and my coach says I can't give up, it hurts it's like you're getting tortured, yet it's my own self that has to push myself around. No one can do that for me, but me only.
That's when I finally did it; I went out of my comfort zone. I ran like I had never run before. I submissively kicked it into my highest gear, figuring I'd give it all I had until I gassed out somewhere behind the crowd. Strangely, though, I found a stride I never knew existed. My legs began churning effortlessly gaining speed at every muscle motion; I couldn't even feel them, and it seemed like my upper body was just going along for the ride on some mysterious power train below. There was no pain, no labored breathing, just the sensation of gliding across the trail at high speed. It was exhilarating!
Running cross country was a chance for me to get closer to who I was besides this sensitive side I've always had. It was a chance to explore and experiment with that other side of me I'd never knew existed. My experiences were not limited to races, but extended far beyond into a community where I felt encouraged to excel in every aspect of my life. There are very few things in life that really catch people off guard. Mines were exactly this. Never did I think I could put myself through the gruel, hardest things and love it all equally the same. Never did I imagine in a million years of my own reactions, my own strengths, my own will, and my own determination of what I got from this personal challenge I gave onto myself.
I am aware of the tougher times ahead, but I am readily prepared and willing to face the challenges head-on. I sincerely hope and would be extremely grateful to be given the chance to persevere in every aspect given to me.
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