All critiques and edits are appreciated.
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Dear roommate,
My name is - , but you can call me DC. Though I don't know you yet, I know we'll get along. Having attended international schools with people from many countries, I'm a very tolerant person, and I enjoy being with many types of people and cultures. But I also enjoy many activities. Though I'm disciplined and work diligently at night, I always make time to relieve my stresses whether it be through music or sports. If you don't find me in the room studying hard, you'll either find me in the gym playing basketball or somewhere on campus playing my guitar. And I can also play drums. Can you play instrument? If not, I can teach you and if yes, I'd love to jam sometime. When I'm not studying, playing music or sports I also love watching the history and comedy channel. "Ancient Aliens", "Conspiracy theory with Jesse Ventura" and the "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" are some of my favorite tv shows. I'm keen politically and might engage in a debate with you about how drug enforcement has led to more drug users not less. And I must warn you, I'm a little bit (I lied: a lot a bit) of a conspiracy theorist. Don't be surprised if I end up telling you about what I think is really going on under everyone's noses. By the way, if I accidentally spit in your face, I apologize ahead of time. I beatbox a lot. Maybe I can teach you a beat or two, and we can harmonize beats together, or better yet maybe you can rap. That would be cool. Anyway, I'm looking forward to sharing my experiences with you and listening to yours. But more importantly, I'm looking forward to creating new experiences with you at Stanford together, experiences that we will remember years from now. I hope you, like me, are the type of person that can study hard one day, read a book and listen to music the next and go out and explore the city the next after that. If you are, then we're friends already. Looking forward to meeting you.
-DC
aving attended international schools with people from many countries
and met individuals from many other countries,
But I also enjoy many activities.
^ There is no need for a 'but.'
And I can also play drums. Can you play instrument? If not, I can teach you and if yes, I'd love to jam sometime.
^ "Oh, and I love to play the drums. Do you play any instruments? If so, I'd love to jam sometime, and if not, I'd love to teach you."
But more importantly, I'm looking forward to creating new experiences with you at Stanford together, experiences that we will remember years from now.
^ weird run on.
I hope you, like me, are the type of person that can study hard one day, read a book and listen to music the next and go out and explore the city the next after that.
'the next after that' (awkward)
You can be much more open about your own faults. Admit that you don't know it all. You seem to want to do a lot of things with your roommate but you do not ask him or her what she has to do. Say I am excited to know what your favorite foods are and try them with you. I would not hope that she is the kind of person who does .... Let her be her own person and be excited for that. Maybe say that you hope to learn from her. You never know if you are going to get along with someone. I would remove it sounds slightly arrogant.
You can call me DC; Stanford Letter to Roommate
I need help cutting this down, so help decide which items on the list I should take out. Also, number one and seven in the beliefs section conflicts, so I'm trying to figure out a way to reword number 7. Any help or critique is appreciated!
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Dear roommate,
My name is Daniel, but . At this point I could give you a bright shiny essay portraying all my great attributes and qualities, but instead I'd rather give you a list of my beliefs and things I have done which showcase my personality more than any long explanation could.
I'm sure we will get along fine if you believe:
1) Aliens are real.
2) The world would be a better place without nuclear weapons.
3) Torture and invasions contribute to US terrorism and animosity from the Middle East.
4) A food should be created that has enough nourishment to last more than one day. I mean, my god, we can use an iPhone to find the world population in two seconds, yet have to spend three hours out of every day of every year eating.
5) Basketball is the best sport ever created.
6) Dog is man's best friend.
7) Nothing should be taken on faith until observed or proven by yourself or others.
8) Freedom of speech and healthy debate preserves democracy.
Or if you have:
1) Lost sleep spending time online researching current events, politics or sports statistics.
3) Rode a bike down the streets of Japan past curfew at 4:00 am to go to 7 eleven for a donut.
4) Spent hours reading guitar tabs to play your favorite songs.
5) Had a beatbox battle.
6) Prepared for the end of the world more than once.
7) Convinced your parents that you didn't believe in Santa, when you really did and that's how you found out.
8) Heard about more conspiracy theories than you can count.
9) Argued with your Economics teacher about how healthcare is a necessity, so private insurance should be highly regulated to prevent exploitation of healthcare consumers.
10) While reading for pleasure or for school, looked up every word that you didn't know in the dictionary.
11) Stayed up all night working on an English paper due at 6:00 am online.
12) In middle school, explained to your friend that you would not take part in teasing someone for their idiosyncrasies.
OR if you don't believe or have not done any of the above, at least you know me now and I will make sure to accept you for who you are as long as you are compassionate, caring and considerate.
Best,
Your Future Roommate
just a little note here: maybe you shouldn't talk about the faith one? its kinda a sensitive topic
I agree with Tickle -- leave out faith or politics. Not only might this rub your roommate the wrong way, but it might do so for your admissions readers. Best not to ruffle their feathers.
I also think this essay should be completely about you, like the prompt says, and that if you've written it tactfully, you shouldn't have to add in the bit that says you'll be fine with however your roomie is. A lot of people write that, and I think the admissions folks are tired of hearing it. Plus, they really aren't going to assume that you're going to hate your roommate if they're a little different from you.
Actually, I think it would make a really interesting and unique essay if all you talked about was why you believe aliens are real. It would definitely catch your readers' attention!!
Also...
SANTA'S NOT REAL?? GASP!!
It wasn't meant to be religious, I basically wanted to say take everything with a grain of salt. But I'll take it out. There are some issues that surface in politics in this, but I don't really talk about politics directly.
@kelly thank you for your opinions on the points you liked. And the alien thing might be a good idea...lol. But idk if I have enough time.
What did you think overall? Horrible, decent? Revealing of who i am?
