'Korean engineer' - University of Washington essay

Discuss how your family's experience or cultural history enriched you or presented you with opportunities or challenges in pursuing your educational goals

I didnt finished this up because I wanna make sure abt this 3 paragraphs..need help Organizing ideas and Correcting grammar

When looking back eighteen years of my life, I have chosen the way of my life based on a supportive back ground, my parents. The relationship with my parents was more like an extraordinary friendship than the affection of family. Having an architect father who loves children, house chores, and exercising was a very lucky gift I ever had. Because of this, my family nature stemmed from the fact that we are always there for each other no matter what. My decision to be an engineer was also related to my family.

My life as an engineer has started even before I was born. In my country Korea, it is common thing that pregnant women have a dream of conception called Taemong, before giving a birth. For example, my grandma dreamed about a rising sun among the darkness while she had my father.

My mom was no exception to this rule. When my mom was pregnant she dreamed about herself walking underwater and visiting a craftsman(engineer) who was constructing a castle under the sea. When she stood in front of him, he gave my mom a seashell which had a pearl in it. When I was born, my parents named me Sora, which means sea shell in Korean.

I'd get rid of the first paragraph altogether, and start right in with the paragraph on Taemong. At some point, you should explain how being named after a seashell relates to being an engineer, but I assume you already know that.

I like how you talk about your mothers dream and your being destined to become an engineer. However, as Sean said I would either get rid of the first paragraph or tie it in with how your father has affected your choice to be an engineer.

some suggestions,

When looking back on the eighteen years of my life, I have chosen the way of my life based on a supportive back groundthe support of, my parents.

This is looking good. As you continue, focus on OPPORTUNITIES and CHALLENGES -- two different things. If you give some examples of each, you will be sticking to the prompt very well. In the intro paragraph, state some meaningful truth, and in the next paragraph explain it well. In the last paragraph, say it again in different words. :)

"When Looking back eighteen years of my life, I have chosen the way of my life based on a supportive back ground background, my parents."

"Having an architect father who loves children, house chores, and exercising was a very lucky gift I ever had."

I feel that the above should be presented in present tense.

"Because of this, my family nature stemmed stems from the fact that we are always there for each other no matter what. "

"My decision to be an engineer was is also related to my family."

"My life as an engineer has had started even before I was born."

"In my country Korea, it is common thing that for pregnant women to have a dream of conception called Taemong, before giving a birth."

"When my mom was pregnant she dreamed dreamt about herself walking underwater and visiting a craftsman(engineer) who was constructing a castle under the sea. "

When looking back on the 18 years of my life, I have chosen the way of my life based on a supportive back ground, my parents.

My life as an engineer had started even before I was born. In my country Korea, it is common thing that pregnant women have a dream of conception, called Taemong, before giving a birth. For example, my grandma dreamed about a rising sun among the darkness while she was pregnant with my father.

When my mom was pregnant, she dreamed about herself walking underwater and visiting a craftsman(engineer) who was constructing a castle under the sea.