Korean language learning - a good personal statement?

being able to contribute to Ecuador

I am Delgado Richard Santiago, I was born in Ecuador and I live in a beautiful city called Manta considered the first seaport and fishing port of Ecuador. A welcoming city of hardworking people, honest and full of simplicity and humility that opens its doors to the cruises that bring thousands of tourists from different countries of the world. This is a small town of 248.473 inhabitants, the same ones who are engaged in fishing and trading. My parents are also Ecuadorians by birth but due to the economic crisis that crossed the country in 1999 they had to migrate to Europe by establishing their residence in Spain, leaving me in the care of my maternal grandmother, and it is to her that I owe everything I am.

My family is of modest economic resources, as I mentioned I live with my grandmother, an aunt and uncle, who collaborate in the economic expenses of the home. My aunt until the previous year was a teacher of high school but she is already retired and my uncle has the title of ENGLISH LITERATURE but for the moment is a salesman. We are honest, responsible people with values and principles based on the family.

The reason I have to apply and achieve this scholarship is to become a great professional in the area of education and to be able to contribute in my country new and fresh knowledge that will benefit the childhood and youth of my country. The prospect that I possess is very high and I hope that in South Korea I could achieve everything that I propose as this delivery helps young people like me who want to achieve goals and projects that in my country could not get. South Korea is a country that during the years has had a high economic development and therefore its inhabitants have an excellent social welfare, this makes my goal is to become a quality professional and manage to apply to get work in the University of my city or country.

During my studies I have always managed to be among the first places as a student. In my school I was considered to hold honorable mentions in the fast reading contests, having obtained the first place in the "First Level 3 Quick Reading Contest", I also obtained honor mention for the talent reflected through oratory. In the high school I obtained excellent participation in the contest of oratory "The Social Networks and their influence in the education"; also, I obtained honorable mention for my high qualifications in the academic period 2014-2015, with a general average of 9.36, and for academic merits I was nominated Best Student of the Unified General Baccalaureate. Through my studies I managed to obtain an English scholarship granted by THE EMBASSY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IN QUITO and among several students, I was accepted in ACCESS PROGRAM, which lasted 900 hours. This was a risk that I could combine with my regular studies, this helped me to later have an openness and therefore personal growth.

This language has been of great influence in all the areas of my life, receiving a diploma for having participated in the NATIONAL WRITING CONTEST, then this facilitated to me to render my services to the craftsmen of my city that promote their products to the tourists that arrive in the cruise ships, I helped to these adults to show their products and have better interaction with tourists as they felt satisfied with the work done. The municipal tourism office, Copei and Access Program awarded me a certificate as a tutor in the basic English course for 40 hours. Also, I have wonderful experiences in the summer camps that promoted the US Embassy as the 2015 training at the coastal Summer Camp and the 2016 Environment English Immersion Camp which have influenced my personal and group relationships and this has facilitated me to have leadership, trust, interest and collaboration with the people around me.

To conclude, I can point out that all the experiences I have had with this language to which I have dedicated passion, the same ones that served me so that my teachers and fellow students gave me the responsibility of giving the final graduation speech, I was given a prize for being chosen the best student in the English language, I have the perseverance and yearnings to learn the Korean language, the same that will open the doors for all my projects that I want to achieve in the near future.

Richard, for starters, please remove all of the references that you wrote in all caps and change those to the proper lower case written form. Using all caps in a formal document is considered highly rude and comes across as you shouting at the reader. Since this application will be read by a highly authoritative person from the KGSP scholarship program, you will need to keep a tone of respect for the reader. Koreans are all about respecting others so when you write in that manner, you are showing a great deal of disrespect that could result in your application being given less consideration than the others because of your lack of written respect.

At this point, I have to ask you to remove all unnecessary references to your aunt and uncle. They are not part of your immediate family and thus, do not require any presentation in this essay, regardless of how relevant their own accomplishments are in the field of English learning. At this point, I have to ask you, are you applying for an undergraduate scholarship program? It seems to me that you are not yet a high school graduate based upon your writing. The reason I ask is because the personal statement for the undergraduate program has highly different requirements from the KGSP masters studies scholarship application. Right now, I will assume that you are an undergraduate scholarship applicant.

Retain only the references to your personal education and immediate family references. Explain why you do not live with your parents. If you feel that it will truly help your application, explain how your aunt and uncle have taken over the role of parents in your eyes and how they have inspired your point of view about life and influenced your desire to study languages, specifically English and Hangul. These information will help the reviewer to get to know you better on a personal level. What you need to further develop in this essay, aside from your accomplishments, are the reasons why you wish to study English in Korea. Consider that English is not the native language of Korea and you will definitely have to explain why that is.

On the other hand, if you are interested in studying the Korean language as your undergraduate course in Korea, then you will need to develop a more accurate representation of when you developed an interest in Hangul, what your exposure to Hangul is, how you have prepared to become an undergraduate student in Korea, and the reasons why you feel it is imperative that you learn Hangul in South Korea. Why can't you study Hangul in Ecuador instead?

Develop a paragraph that explains that you easily learn languages as evidenced by your grasp of intermediate English. Why will learning how to speak and write in Hangul fluently help you to gain a better future in Ecuador? Make sure that you create a personal connection between the line of study you have chosen and why Hangul is where your future lies.