'The laboratory is my second home' - University of Waterloo Engineering AIF

Please let me know honesty if my content is convincing and unique.

Question: Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program and reasons for applying to University of Waterloo.

Admission Information Form for Waterloo

Answer: The laboratory is my second home. I enjoy experimenting with chemicals. The existence of corrosive molecules that react together to give us fruitful products is fascinating; will there be an iridescent colour change, a squeaky pop sound or the emission of a pungent gas? I don't know. Let's find out!

I enjoy chemistry. However I don't want to get trapped in the life of a chemist. With my chemical engineering degree, I aspire to design large-scale processes and develop the industrial economy. Moreover, my altruism and the soaring health risks motivate me to work on innovative ideas to enhance human life.

The co-op program of Waterloo will introduce me to the chemical engineering world. The competence of the faculty, highly advanced computing, research and lab facilities, counselling and Safety First Policy will surely make me succeed. Most of all, Waterloo has 34 different coffee locations! (900 characters)

Thank you, I'm not interested)

Saad, your essay is entertaining to read but it doesn't respond accurately to the prompt requirements. There is no clear sense of your educational goals as a Chemical Engineer. You need to better develop an explanation regarding that second paragraph of yours. By the way, I would not use the first paragraph if I were you. It doesn't really direct the essay in the manner that it is supposed to. You are better off starting with your second paragraph, and developing it instead. Your decision to choose Waterloo is also not well explained beyond the common known information in the student brochures and websites. The reviewer will be looking for more interesting and unique information beyond that. Try to show that you have done some research regarding the chemical engineering program as it relates to Waterloo as a university. The information that you presented, specially the one about the numerous locations of the school doesn't really help to instill confidence that you know what you are getting into if you become a student at Waterloo.

@Holt

Thankyou very much for all the suggestions. I will surely take them into consideration while editing