sorry, this is my last essay I have to write. Please help me. I used a modified UC application essay, is that ok? Does it sound like it has a direction?
please help THANK YOU!
It's the second long essay for the Common app. I choose my own topic
Each member in a choir has a beautiful voice when singing alone. But, it is when all of these individuals join together in harmony that we experience their full ability. Similarly, my town has three main, yet distinct accents reflected by three popular radio stations: CAT Country, Wild 106, and Hip-hop y más! By birth, by association and by learning a language I have become a part of each of these parts of my community. I have found that when everyone works together harmoniously, contributing their unique perspectives, that is when we are closest to advancing together through our diversity.
I can still remember Sunday mornings from my early childhood. The rhythmic sing-song voice of the pastor bellowing down over the congregation, the soft southern drawl of Georgia and the Carolinas singing in the choir, and the sharp Texas twang of a wizened woman handing out candy; these voices still influence my perceptions. In this group of African-American men and women who met at Second Baptist to worship there were so many ways to praise and sing. It was an expression deeper than the words. On January of 2000 I was baptized into that church. It would set the stage for my immersion into other cultures and their traditions.
When I started elementary school I became a part of yet another culture. I learned Spanish: how to speak it and write it. But, through my friendship with Blanca Ruiz, a native Spanish speaker, I realized that Spanish is a bridge between people. I didn't leave the language at school where we danced Baile Folklórico, but went to Blanca's house where I learned to sing along to the mariachi songs her parents listened to and the Regatón that she likes. My Spanish blossomed as I translated for my mom and Blanca's and I became an emissary. My Spanish grew as did my understanding of the importance of experiencing other worlds.
In high school I could have been defined by the different cliques: the cowboys, the techies, the emos, the jocks... But these labels create another type of boundary and I refuse to singularly categorize myself by any of these. I challenge myself to make connections among them, learning to speak the language of each. As different as we first appear to be, I remember that once those boundaries are crossed we will recognize that we are not as foreign as we first imagined. Each person is a valuable and complicated addition to our community, and we are worth the time it takes to be understood.
I'm not advocating that everyone learns the 39, 491 plus dialects that are in existence today. Rather, we must recognize that we are all human; we each have a voice that needs to be heard. Because my world has been primarily influenced and so drastically expanded by language-in both the literal and metaphorical sense-these experiences will assist me with my goal to advocate for those who find themselves disenfranchised to find their voice. By improving upon the benefits that the Department of Social Services already extends, I intend to create an innovative way to help people back into society where their voice can help create a more equal nation. A center that is not only dedicated to providing medical cares and connections to job skills training, but also houses these individuals until they are employed and have a stable plans is what I envision. Because when everyone's voice is able to be heard and understood we are able to approach the Greek philosophy of sophrosyne-meaning moderation or balance. On one extreme we could cubicalize ourselves in our differences, yet the solution isn't for us all to be exactly the same. America should no longer be considered a melting pot, rather a harmony where every voice can stand out but the collective is far more beautiful.
please help THANK YOU!
It's the second long essay for the Common app. I choose my own topic
Each member in a choir has a beautiful voice when singing alone. But, it is when all of these individuals join together in harmony that we experience their full ability. Similarly, my town has three main, yet distinct accents reflected by three popular radio stations: CAT Country, Wild 106, and Hip-hop y más! By birth, by association and by learning a language I have become a part of each of these parts of my community. I have found that when everyone works together harmoniously, contributing their unique perspectives, that is when we are closest to advancing together through our diversity.
I can still remember Sunday mornings from my early childhood. The rhythmic sing-song voice of the pastor bellowing down over the congregation, the soft southern drawl of Georgia and the Carolinas singing in the choir, and the sharp Texas twang of a wizened woman handing out candy; these voices still influence my perceptions. In this group of African-American men and women who met at Second Baptist to worship there were so many ways to praise and sing. It was an expression deeper than the words. On January of 2000 I was baptized into that church. It would set the stage for my immersion into other cultures and their traditions.
When I started elementary school I became a part of yet another culture. I learned Spanish: how to speak it and write it. But, through my friendship with Blanca Ruiz, a native Spanish speaker, I realized that Spanish is a bridge between people. I didn't leave the language at school where we danced Baile Folklórico, but went to Blanca's house where I learned to sing along to the mariachi songs her parents listened to and the Regatón that she likes. My Spanish blossomed as I translated for my mom and Blanca's and I became an emissary. My Spanish grew as did my understanding of the importance of experiencing other worlds.
In high school I could have been defined by the different cliques: the cowboys, the techies, the emos, the jocks... But these labels create another type of boundary and I refuse to singularly categorize myself by any of these. I challenge myself to make connections among them, learning to speak the language of each. As different as we first appear to be, I remember that once those boundaries are crossed we will recognize that we are not as foreign as we first imagined. Each person is a valuable and complicated addition to our community, and we are worth the time it takes to be understood.
I'm not advocating that everyone learns the 39, 491 plus dialects that are in existence today. Rather, we must recognize that we are all human; we each have a voice that needs to be heard. Because my world has been primarily influenced and so drastically expanded by language-in both the literal and metaphorical sense-these experiences will assist me with my goal to advocate for those who find themselves disenfranchised to find their voice. By improving upon the benefits that the Department of Social Services already extends, I intend to create an innovative way to help people back into society where their voice can help create a more equal nation. A center that is not only dedicated to providing medical cares and connections to job skills training, but also houses these individuals until they are employed and have a stable plans is what I envision. Because when everyone's voice is able to be heard and understood we are able to approach the Greek philosophy of sophrosyne-meaning moderation or balance. On one extreme we could cubicalize ourselves in our differences, yet the solution isn't for us all to be exactly the same. America should no longer be considered a melting pot, rather a harmony where every voice can stand out but the collective is far more beautiful.
