The humidity seeped through my rented suit as we worked tirelessly for the $2,000 cash prize. My first case competition wasn't how I had imagined it at all. It was a roller coaster of emotions filled with stress, failure, and retrospective learning. At the Prosper case competition this year, me and four strangers started to lose hope as time was ticking and our presentation was in shambles. We needed something of a miracle to bring the $2,000 cash prize back into the picture.
Playing to our strengths, we delegated roles amongst ourselves to create a business analysis of Roku, a television operating system. After receiving feedback from the first panel of judges, myself, Deema, Ethan, Leila, and Adam were determined to make it to the finals. The second panel of judges did not waste time and told us the truth. We weren't moving on to finals as our presentation was inconsistent in its contents, with some slides covering too much and some too little. Our presentation skills were on par, yet what led to our downfall was the lack of communication between members that allowed inconsistencies in the volume and quality of text.
In retrospection, I believe the reason why we didn't qualify was that we lacked the leadership and team-chemistry qualities the finalist groups possessed. My experience highlighted the importance of effective communication and leadership within groups and the significance of consistency within group projects. Additionally, I now recognize the value of taking a leadership role when presented with the opportunity as leadership not only ensures project success but also fosters a positive team dynamic of contribution rather than a more individual approach. My first case competition was successful as it enhanced my leadership and teamwork skills emphasizing the importance of collaboration in achieving shared objectives.
This is my initial draft that exceeds the 1500 character word count. Any suggestions or areas to cut bulk would be greatly appreciated.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 You do not really need to enumerate the names of the team members in this case. Group pronouns will suffice since the names of these people mean nothing to the reviewer. I would edit the essay to include an explanation of how you ended up working with 3 other strangers on such an important group project. It does not make sense for you to be working with strangers when the prize on hand is such a large amount. Why did it happen that way?
You cannot claim to have on par presentation skills when some of the work in this aspect was faulty. It was never on par with the others because of the weaknesses that your group possessed. That is an incorrect claim that you have to correct. Instead, explain why the presentation was choppy because of the group not knowing how to work with one another and how it affected the end result.
