Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


'I learned about camping through my friends' -Common App Essay - Topic of your choice



Ushio 1 / -  
Nov 12, 2012   #1
*** Names are censored for privacy.

"Friendship isn't about whom you've known the longest. It's about who came and never left your side."

I met my first friends, [name] and [name], in first grade. We used to play together during recess all the time. Fourth grade came around, and I discovered that [name] had moved over the summer. [name] found a new friend, but it seemed as if she had forgotten about me. I've met several acquaintances, but none of them were friends to me. For a long time, I did not have someone whom I could call a "friend," leading me to become extremely quiet. It wasn't much of a surprise when I was one of three students voted "most quiet" in sixth grade.

Then I moved from [city] to nearby [city] during the summer following seventh grade. Moving to a new school provided a clean slate for me; no one knew who I was. But at the same time, I was frightened by the thought of knowing no one. I knew that everyone would have their own cliques. But it was during this last year of middle school that I met two strange girls whom they would later turn out to be my friends.

If it weren't for my friends, I wouldn't have known what camping is like, or how entertaining school plays can be. They make me smile every day, which is something I didn't do often in the past. It doesn't matter how many friends we have, whether it's ten or just one. The best friends are the ones who stick by you no matter what. Even if my friends make new friends, they never leave me behind.

I once asked my friend [name] what she thought of me. She told me, "You like to hang out with us even though we will act like complete idiots, so I have to give you some credit for that. But you're a pretty normal friend to me. I'm glad we met cause I wouldn't have had someone to hang out with in half my classes the last couple of years." I caught myself crying a little when she said that. I didn't realize that just being there was enough to make her happy. But then again, it is the same for me. All it takes for me to smile is to have a friend call out my name and wave.

4m4jordan4m4 8 / 16  
Nov 23, 2012   #2
This is a very sweet essay but I would consider taking out the quote at the start of the essay, readers want to see your words on the page not someone else's. I also think you need to make the main point of the essay clearer, right now you come off as meek you want to show the readers how making new friends changed that, and shaped who you are and what your future goals are.


Home / Undergraduate / 'I learned about camping through my friends' -Common App Essay - Topic of your choice
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳