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"Learning From the Past" - Boston University High School Honors (Summer Term)



pch340 2 / 4  
Apr 19, 2011   #1
Hi, this might sound a little confusing so bear with me.
I'm writing a personal statement for a summer program at BU which allows you to take two college courses before your senior year of HS to sort of get acquainted with college, get used to college studying, and things of that nature.

A little background...
I had a very bad grade performance freshman year of high school mainly because of trouble adjusting and mental staleness over the summer. This is a very competitive program so I feared that my low grades would make me off-putting. They can see my improvement from my transcript. I had 2.9 GPA 9th grade, 3.9 10th grade, so it's not on ongoing trend, just one bad year.

I'm gearing my essay towards how lack of preparation entering 9th grade led me to poor grades, and how I am seeking to attend the BU program in order to better prepare myself for college.

Prompt:
Write a one-page, single spaced personal statement describing why you want to attend BU High School Honors.

It is impossible to deny that a virtue of all wise men is their ability to learn from past mistakes. But what exactly makes this so wise a virtue? Perhaps it is because a person who is able to understand and reflect on an error in life, will be less susceptible for falling prey to the same error. I, however, at such a young age, am not wise. Despite this, I constantly aim to imitate this virtue in every aspect of my life. My reasoning is, errors are unavoidable - everyone slips up; everyone forgets; everyone errs. But what is avoidable, is making the same mistake twice. When I first scanned through the Boston University Summer booklet, I immediately noticed that it was different, more mature, from all those other summer activities and student "conference retreats" which endlessly plagued our mailbox. After reading about BU's intensive, college-geared, yet multifaceted HSH program, I knew how it could help me shape my future. I had realized that this was my chance to partake in an experience which would truly prepare me for my next academic journey; it was my chance to learn from my mistakes. Allow me to explain.

The summer preceding my ninth grade year of high school, I had done very little regarding academic preparation and mental fitness. I thought that entering high school would be no real challenge, and that I could simply cruise by. The reality check came shortly after my first month in ninth grade. The expectations set by teachers, and the work required completely overwhelmed me. After spending most of my summer days loitering at skate parks or sleeping on the beach, I was in no position to take on such a heavy workload. A hasty adjustment was nearly impossible, and I quickly fell behind. Only now do I see the folly of my ways. How could I have been so naive and foolish as to think I could waste away during the summer and then miraculously make a recovery during such a crucial academic shift? I was able to highly excel the following year, but my efforts were futile, for the toll that one bad year takes on your GPA is irreversible. One bad year permanently tarnished my academic record and the image of what I can truly accomplish. The damage done by my lack of mental preparation for high school was permanent, but I can take satisfaction in knowing that, today, it stands to me as a stark reminder.

Thankfully, when looking to the future, I know what I must do. I must try to be wise, and I must learn from my mistakes. Ahead of me lies another academic shift from high school to higher education. From my unfortunate experience, I know it will be difficult and I know it will require thorough preparation to enter this new level of education. For my final year of high school, I have chosen a specific and particularly rigorous schedule in order to ensure my readiness for college learning. This is exactly why BU's high school honors was so immediately appealing to me - every aspect of the program fits right into my desire to succeed after high school graduation. The courses offered do not vary from real college courses, and they are a perfect example of what I should expect come September 2012. With such a wide diversity of classes available, I can ensure that I'll actually be interested in whatever course I take. For example, among my fellow speech and debaters, I am one of the few who sincerely enjoy congressional debate. And with classes like "Introduction to International Relations" I can discuss American foreign policy, the advantages of non-intervention, and the flaws of nation-building with people who actually care about those things. This is exactly the kind of intellectual enrichment I need to keep my mind sharp.

But aside from much needed academic preparation, a summer program in Boston can offer me something particularly special. Having been born in a Mediterranean town off the outskirts of Alexandria, Egypt, I moved to the U.S. late in my childhood, and have been unable to experience the greatest cities of America. The city of Boston has always held a certain sense of mystique to me. I have long sought to slurp fresh Boston oysters out of the half shell in an authentic oyster house, and to explore the cobblestone backstreets of Beacon Hill. My cousins, who lived in Boston for some time, have often told me about the mind-blowing wonders at MIT's museum. BU's location is such a huge contributor to the wholesome experience it provides, because I believe that preparation for college and education, in general, is a multifaceted effort and almost like a Rubik's cube - all sides, academic, geographical, and social must be addressed in order for the experience to come together, and for an education process to truly take place. Given the chance to spend the summer in such an interesting and thought-inhibiting environment, I know I can flourish and take the necessary steps to prepare for my next academic journey. I know I can seize the opportunity to learn from my mistakes.

amyllei 2 / 4  
Apr 20, 2011   #2
Hi, George,

Firstly, what I want to share you is just my personal suggestion --- from my own understanding. And because I'm not native, I cannot ensure my view hasn't culture gap. Anyway, I wish I can give you some clue. And may you good luck!

I think the value of a personal statement is to show two things:
1, I'm anxious to have the chance --- why you choose BU, what makes it different or special from others for you?
2, I have the capabilities to grasp the chance and to do much better than others --- why I AM different or speical from other candidates.

So, if you make a bit revisement to let the logic of statement more clear?

By the way, dont over criticize yourself for the past mistakes --- even though the most stupid mistake will become valuable treasure on your growing path. Transform them into your wisdom rather than regret.

Ok, good luck!

Amy
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Apr 20, 2011   #3
You know, something about this essay really resonated with me and gave me a great experience. It surprised me in some places, and it always intrigued me. I do not want to give any advice, because I am afraid any changes you make might diminish the excellent quality it has.

I like that strong theme, learning from mistakes.

This part has some sentences that are too vague, I guess:
I must try to be wise, and I must learn from my mistakes. Ahead of me lies another academic shift from high school to higher education. From my unfortunate experience, I know it will be difficult and I know it will require thorough preparation to enter this new level of education. Cut this obvious stuff and replace it with some mention of SPECIFIC intentions, specific goals.

For my final year of high school, I have chosen a specific and particularly rigorous schedule---good!

Show them that you have made a detailed plan.


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